Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, while on the train with my dad, my boyfriend sent me a message. It was a nude, and when I looked, my dad saw. FML
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, my dad was in town for a day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dad's slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. In total, we talked for 15 minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML
Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said, "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw." It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parents' house and forgot his phone. FML
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
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Top comments
angrymexican 8
In your boyfriends case, doesn't matter, had sex
GreenAppleDP 0
And this is why it's good to lock your phone with a pass code. That's entirely too awkward.
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Comments (180)
usnwife 18
Hey, at least you said it was nice to meet his dad instead of how much you hated him!
pippa08 0
could have been sooo much worse dear, trust me
Nacole31 0
haha what did u do?
grannygruber 6
At least it wasn't your dad holding your phone when he sent the text! His dad probably high-fived him!
kksilvey23 0
A quicky? If you two are still young enough to be dropped off and picked up by your parents, ydi.
Vulpes21 6
For real
Anikaaaaa 31
People in the Netherlands couldn't get their licenses until they were 18 at the time this FML was posted. I think 17 or 18 is old enough to be having sex..
fencer49 0
Fap fap fap fap
_Oblivion_ 12
Yankee doodle went to town riding on a heater..
daaniel69 6
If I was the dad then I would be happy that my son is getting it in....
heyyy464 1
"what dad? We were sitting next to the heater.."
Snafuusmc 12
I'm sure the dad was proud of his son.
TheEpicMilkMan 13
that next encounter is going to be awkward as hell
auspycious 0
Next time the dads gonna walk right in