Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead...

By Mika_Ookami - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

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Miscellaneous

Dangling modifier

This Charming Man

Kids

By not a jesse pinkman joke - United States - Princeton

Today, my dad turned up drunk to an intervention for my brother's drug addiction. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

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By sayroshi - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML

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By notAMrs - United States - Jeffersonville

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

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By Oddy - 17/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

Keep your distance

Today, I travelled by myself for the first time. I was seated next to a middle-aged man who was trying to convince me that I was his soulmate, kept touching my face and sniffing me. I'm 19 and it was a 6 hour flight. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Herndon

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed a homeless man fall off of his bike and land face first onto the pavement. Bleeding and shivering in the 40 degree weather, I gave him the coat off of my back. He got up like nothing happened and sprinted away with it. Oh yeah, my wallet was in the inside pocket. FML

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By Cooper491 - Australia

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML

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By katier8295 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad has been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML

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By RoxahTheGreat - United States

Today, I was unloading things into a hotel. As I went to get a bag out in the hallway, the room door closed and I had no key. When I knocked and asked my family to let me back in, no one answered. The doors are clearly not soundproof. I could hear them debating whether or not to let me back in. FML

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By WorstLifeEver - United States

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

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By alone - China

Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

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By TheSacredTeddyBear - United States - Independence

Today, I finally gave away all of the stuffed animals that I've been hoarding for years. Proud, I told my family. They congratulated me by buying me stuffed animals. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend, some of my friends decided to take me to a comedy club for a girls night. My friend's jealous husband decided he had to come along, then decided to invite my other friends' boyfriends. I ended up being the seventh wheel on a night meant to cheer me up. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

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By LonelyAngel22

Today, out of curiosity, I took an online test to see if I have ADHD. Halfway through, I got so distracted and bored that I gave up. Guess I know the answer. FML

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By CaeliLady - United States

Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML

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By hoops - United States

Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML

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By Artist man - 8/1/2021 07:02 - United Kingdom

Live through this

Today, my girlfriend walked out on me because she realised she doesn’t love me enough to go through a second lockdown with me and our 2-year-old daughter FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my two weeks notice at work. My boss sighed with relief and muttered, "Thank God." FML

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By screwed - United States

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

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By Harry641 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, I got accused of ruining my girlfriend's birthday, all because I accidentally got her the same birthday present as her mother did. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML

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By kidyounot - United States - Statesboro

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

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By yeah why not - Norway

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

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By Why Me - United States - Seattle

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

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By tiffany - Canada

Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was informed that my boyfriend's mother would be joining us on our Valentine's dinner. I'm not sure if this momma's boy thing is going to work out. FML

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By Perpetually F-ed. - United States

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

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By I'm out - United States - Huntsville

Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML

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By mjbx - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I was in a huge traffic jam with my boyfriend due to heavy snowfall. After being in the car for 4 hours, we were stuck in a tunnel with hundreds of cars behind and in front of us. Then the diarrhea hit. I had to shit in a plastic bag in the car. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Anchorage

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

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By squishy - United States

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

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By oohrahgal - United States - Clementon

Today, my boyfriend graduated from boot camp. After the ceremony, I rushed over and tried to jump into his arms. This would have been romantic if he was expecting it. Instead, he fell over and we crashed onto the floor in front of everyone. FML

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By thanksgrandpa - Canada - Concord

Today, an attractive woman sat beside me at the doctor's office. Unfortunately, on my other side was my senile old uncle who can't control his bowels, and after a few uncontrollable farts, she was on the other side of the room. FML

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By soapgirl - Philippines

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

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Top comments

By kallielou | 10

#880058 - Sunday 21 February 2010 23:18

maybe he was joking :P

By Jen_J_the_J | 0

#880062 - Sunday 21 February 2010 23:20

haha bad way to find out ur ugly, huh

COMMENTS

By kallielou | 10

#880058 - Sunday 21 February 2010 23:18

maybe he was joking :P

mfmylifesrsly | 29

#880114 - Sunday 21 February 2010 23:31

I'm sure he was joking. have a sense of humor. lol it is sad though there arnt many pretty redheads. thank goodness I'm one of the few :D

kellybby8650 | 4

#880120 - Sunday 21 February 2010 23:38

aw that's meann

1800getalife | 0

#880130 - Sunday 21 February 2010 23:43

yea most red heads are ugly

ohh the freckles gaaaah

cucuto89 | 0

#880136 - Sunday 21 February 2010 23:45

Today, My friend made a joke at my expense. FML

ilovechuux13 | 0

#880166 - Sunday 21 February 2010 23:51

GINGERS HAVE NO SOUL!

Aceage | 0

#880206 - Monday 22 February 2010 0:05

today I realised I can't take a joke FML

george456 | 0

#880239 - Monday 22 February 2010 0:23

snickerdoodles, don't you have anything to say?

mfmylifesrsly | 29

#880271 - Monday 22 February 2010 0:39

bahaha george I was wondering where snickerdoodles is too :D

YeahFMLxX | 0

#880280 - Monday 22 February 2010 0:41

he was probably trying to tap that? maybe a joke! -.- he thinks your hot.

jinky58 | 0

#880321 - Monday 22 February 2010 0:55

redheads are disgusting, and are rubes.

isreal | 0

#880684 - Monday 22 February 2010 2:44

or maybe you r just ugly

Repttar | 0

#880701 - Monday 22 February 2010 2:51

slut

KingDingALing | 9

#880820 - Monday 22 February 2010 3:30

yea.. "forgot" :P

By Lg11 | 3

#880060 - Sunday 21 February 2010 23:19

ydi fir being a redhead xD

AngryNinja | 1

#880093 - Sunday 21 February 2010 23:27

wow, way to double-post, idiot.
op, i feel ya. but i love my hair, so just tell him to go fuck himself. maybe other redheads avoid him 'cause he's an asswipe.