Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, while on the train with my dad, my boyfriend sent me a message. It was a nude, and when I looked, my dad saw. FML
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, my dad was in town for a day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dad's slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. In total, we talked for 15 minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML
Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said, "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw." It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parents' house and forgot his phone. FML
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
angrymexican 8
In your boyfriends case, doesn't matter, had sex
GreenAppleDP 0
And this is why it's good to lock your phone with a pass code. That's entirely too awkward.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (180)
Bladeofarzeal 6
Here in NL, some parents care, even through a text, :) Bad luck for OP's bf, though she could've been more discrete...
caysters 12
I'm sitting here thinking that of you live WITH the parents... How long have you been dating if he just met you?? And if it hasn't been long, why the hell are you sleeping with him so quickly?
Jonkbaby 23
open time to bring the pain
CremeEggs 6
I can't sit by the heater =(
k1te 4
i agree with 143. there are many things wrong with this fml. if his dad is old enough to care you also shouldn't be having a quicky.
cartmanlover69 0
Haha that's funny
bspiper87 7
If he was my son I would have congratulated him. Unless you look like that girl on crybaby
badcompany2205 1
Hmmm...if his dad is still picking him up maybe you guys shouldn't be having sex.
BlackCloudedSldr 5
So how was he holding your phone if you just texted him? He replied to your phone using your phone? This actually makes no sense. And this stupid shit sight won't post my one and only fml.
Ken14_fml 3
I know that feeling. My girlfriend sent me a text after our first time saying "last night was amazing" my dad just happened to be in the kitchen holding my phone yelling at me for being out all night with her and coming home late.