Today, my dad was in town for a day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dad's slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. In total, we talked for 15 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML
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Top comments
bigbuttsowhat 0
kill the girlfriend
aback 5
Yeah, well if you're in the US, Father's Day is coming up. You can send him a condom.
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Comments (176)
Peacenik 0
Ouch.
Hunthas 17
the same thing happened to me, except with raccoons :(
Mischief109 11
Ummm your dad had sex with a raccoon for 2 hours and 45 minutes?? Awkward
DegrassixDigimon 5
LOL
bigbuttsowhat 0
kill the girlfriend
teentee401 37
It's simple. We kill the girlfriend.
bigmack95 0
to anyone saying that she deserved that is terrible
babylioncub 0
Agreed
ermkrmr 0
I agree. They also probably have no how it's bad enough to hear your dad have sex with a slutty girlfriend but that just makes it terible!
dum41 0
Sex > children, I always say.
Creamysweeps 5
man I feel sorry for your future kids
sparklemuffin 8
wow your a total ******** I hope your bf/ gf cheats on you with your mom or dad so you realize how much of a stupid bitch you are
drunkandfml 11
Please, never, ever reproduce.
I2OI3 0
Your dad is a champ! You have got some great genes there buddy! Wow. I guess that's Viagra for ya, LOL ;) - be proud of the man!
aback 5
Yeah, well if you're in the US, Father's Day is coming up. You can send him a condom.
kellb11 0
haha. I love it #6!
J15237 25
That's an excellent ******* suggestion.
Rawrrr14 0
So not cool. No offense but that was a bitchy move from your dad and his gf. hormones.... way to ruin everything.
pleasetryagain 0
Next time he wants to spend time with you, tell him you're too busy getting laid. Even if it's with yourself. ESPECIALLY if it's with yourself.
kkkristennnn 0
hahah wowww. 15 minutes is better than nothing i guess.
okenter 0
I don't care who he is, if anyone pulled this stunt on me, I'd have been gone far before the 2 3/4 hour mark.
ermkrmr 0
I would go knock on the door and if there was no reply I'ld slip a note under the door saying " So much for spending time together... please keep the noise down"