Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, then, my wife told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML
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By  Iamthebanzai22  |  18

Well, she clearly does not give a rusty fuck about your feelings and she hasn't for a long time. DItch the bitch. Get a paternity test done before you agree to pay child support.

By  TCRII  |  29

Hey mom and dad, great news. There is a 16.66% change that I am going to be a father and an 83.34% chance that I am going to get a divorce and not have to pay any alimony.

By  Matthew Irmen  |  11

I could be wrong, but there could be a message in this.