By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 00:01 - United States

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 393
You deserved it 4 404
Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

bobbycorwen 5

That's great news for in the long run! For now, no. I am sorry she's a cheating *****. :(

263 10
kjcamaro3 5

No diaper changing for you...more good news!!!

250 8

Comments

kjcamaro3 5

No diaper changing for you...more good news!!!

250 8
IphonFML 6

i'll be seeing this in maury soon :)

22 2
ColdplaySucks 18

If you aren't the father, I think that outweighs the bad news for you at least.

15 1
shovels 0

A real man would consider the good news and bad news, in this case, switched.

36 17
bobbycorwen 5

Not everyone finds pregnancy good news.

19 6
BarDownDaily 12

Key word: Probably.

15 1
iliketurdles 7

KeyWord: ... Coldplay Sucks? Wait what? GTFO. Just GTFO.

6 32
RussianFox 13

At least now he can dump that lying bitch. Sorry OP atleast you dodged a bullet and didn't marry her.

9 2
Jiplo 18

i agree. and even more good news, she has to suffer for cheating! Go karma!

0 0
bobbycorwen 5

That's great news for in the long run! For now, no. I am sorry she's a cheating *****. :(

263 10
Furrywhiplash 14

Agreed. Plus it is better that OP found out now, rather than after they get married and he raises a kid that he only thinks is his

24 1
22jrdn55 15

This is a Maury's show or Jerry Springer kind of thing. OP- if you ever go on either shows, please say you're the guy from FML. FYL.

29 1
stevenJB 25

OMFG IT'S A CHOCOBO!!! :D

8 11
omfg_creepers 8

Give her some more bad news, she's a *****.

202 2
StoryOfTheYear 14

The Kardashians donated 20 bucks worth of games to a hospital. Brilliant! Where may I get more of this "mediocre news"?

5 7
StoryOfTheYear 14

Naww, that's bull-crap. He can't truly be homeless if he has a Ferrari to sleep in. *waits with troll net*

5 2
tripleshame 3

Hit him with a stick, he's not so tough. The mediocre news is in his cardboard treasure chest.

3 0
freakinglaugher 10

Don't hit a 'so to be' dad with a stick. That's right, Fiddo is the father. He's the only rich homeless man iv ever loved.

2 0
dontbeabeach 0

Talk about ****** there's a girl in are school that got pregnant

1 1
lolmigosh 15

So she's carrying an "unwanted miracle?"

44 11
bamagrl410 31

Isn't it sad how most people treat pregnancy like a terrible thing these days? Yay for traditional values.

19 8
StoryOfTheYear 14

^Uh hello? She has more than likely slept with another man and gotten pregnant while in a relationship already. I don't think anybody here means to say pregnancy in general is bad.

18 5
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

That's because most people can't afford to have children, and end up screwing themselves over and their newborn child. Sign of the times.

16 1
BeefyQueef 5

Like I always say, invest in tomorrow by aborting that baby today :)

7 38
BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Never joke about abortion. NEVER!

16 3
BeaterOfTheDrums 15

No.. Just no. Any jokes about abortion are not right.

12 2
SilentNicholas 0

He's not joking about abortion. He's saying she should get one if she can't afford to keep the baby

0 2
WCARlover 34

Bad news: she's a cheating *****, good news: you won't have to deal with her anymore:)

150 3
lakaiskate 12

Is it just me or are op's priorities backwards. Good news she's pregnant, bad news you may not be the father..

12 4
CheckItOutItsYou 7

No it's the girlfriend that doesn't have her priorities straight. OP is just repeating what she said

21 1
StoryOfTheYear 14

She doesn't have her priorities straight? What gives you that idea?

2 2
Dusty_Busters 15

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Nice

2 2
Right_Click 12

No sleepless nights and temper tantrums for you!! Muahaha. Wait, that's a good thing. Relax, OP. Let the strumpet deal with it.

31 4
ZDK5498 6

your girlfriend is a bitch and I would not care if she was good in bed or hot I would leave her ass!

0 4
drawmesunshine 17

Phew, that was a close one, OP. Sorry your girlfriend is a tramp, though.

23 2
GoW_Chick 14

Simple solution: Go on Maury and take a paternity test, you'll find out who the baby daddy is and you'll entertain trailer parks everywhere.

80 8
22jrdn55 15

"when it comes to one month old Jumbo, OP, you are NOT the father." *happy tears*

18 0
Poser1337 5

Be happy. At least she knows for sure you're not the father.

24 12
bobbycorwen 5

She doesn't. OP said probably.

9 3
Poser1337 5

Oh darn. I apologize. My mistake. :/ I'm guessing I'll be flooded with thumbs-downs now? Oh well, not like it matters.

19 6
bobbycorwen 5

I gave you a thumbs up for being a good sport.

14 4