Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked 30 minutes with my new boyfriend from my chalet to the local supermarket, cutting through the woods. It was dark, but the moon shone bright and we had torches. He was so scared, he startled at every noise and even cried. When we got to town, he dumped me, and left on the next train. FML
Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my long-term boyfriend, when it started to rain. He was so interested in the storm that he left me half naked to look outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
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Top comments
HonestTruth 5
Could almost say, he is a "shirty" boyfriend. Yep, I suck that much at puns.
homeboyangst 17
A public park is never a good place to let things "get heavy."
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Comments (106)
perdix 31
Say hi to the guy with the flashlight -- you're going to want to meet other men now that you've seen this current guy's bravery and concern with your safety.
christiangirl 5
Very true . Go look for a new boyfriend .
citymayer 7
AND it'll be even easier for her since she has no shirt on!
twilightterd 4
Well don't have sex in parks then! Lesson learnt
DjeePee 25
God, OP, if you want to be kinky and have sex in a public place, fine for me, but please, be smart and keep your clothes on. It's easier to run away when you're not half-naked and it's also a tiny little bit less shamefull when you are discovered. But your boyfriend is a really Prince Charming, I must say. Probably the nerves, but still, he's rather useless in critical situations. Not the protective alpha-male woman desire.
fordman22 0
Public coitous? Sell tickets. Make money.
AgaveLoco 5
Hands bra, the new fashion!
GothicAngel17 24
There is actually a picture floating around of a bra that looks like hands. Well it's more wearable art but still xD if we could post pictures as a response, I would have just posted that.
scottsteiner 1
WWF Diva SABLE wore them...youtube it ;-)
Senseless_487 29
This was just an elaborate plot for him to get a free bra and shirt. Betcha didn't know your boyfriend is a cross dresser. I wouldn't let him anywhere near your panty drawer if I were you.
Crazberry 5
That's why you keep your shirt on if you're going to get busy in public, even if it is at night. Hell, wear a skirt too. Tell your next boyfriend to wear a kilt and then you can act out your fantasies about making love to a big, manly Scotsman at the same time ;P
The_F3rris 11
Was the person with the flashlight a woman who smelled like the devils toenails and looked like she hadnt bathed in a year?
rsunshine2020 13
Cause if that's the case.. Then it was probably his mom
lexi365 20
Ahhhh. I love previous FML references.
perdix 31
Yet, ironically, this incident exposed your boyfriend to be the real boob!
sougstad 7
Continue where u left off with the flash light wielding assassin! That'll teach your boyfriend a lesson!!!