Intimacy: Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy...

By lollipopp56 - 26/03/2009 06:09 - Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149 371

You deserved it 13 808

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Same thing different taste

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 08/03/2015 10:33 - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 773

You deserved it 3 573

Sexy surprise

By perfectmoment - 10/10/2009 22:22 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 335

You deserved it 21 334

It's business time

By anonymous - 17/03/2015 05:09 - United States - Spokane

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 209

You deserved it 4 109

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 355

You deserved it 6 228

By Desertdryspell - 20/12/2018 14:00

Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2 567

You deserved it 241

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 2 302

By boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 502

You deserved it 5 107

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 126

Off the top of my head…

By helplesslover - 04/10/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 136

You deserved it 5 753

Expectations

By Anonymous - 02/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 216

Tucatz 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:53

And in the meantime his friends hung out in the driveway, right? Pure class that is. Be glad the jackass is gone.

Bubs_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:53

Sounds like he deserves a Falcon Punch.

Comments

d347hm4n 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:53

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Kennzz 0

Saturday 1 October 2011 1:10

Seeing as that it was her boyfriend I wouldn't say that the "easy" card applies here. Grow up!

Littlebit0595 4

Thursday 27 June 2013 23:56

That has nothing to do with it, you immature asshole. Leave her alone.

Bubs_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:53

Sounds like he deserves a Falcon Punch.

SinfulRose 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 8:01

lmao xD wow

samabomination 19

Sunday 9 June 2013 16:25

A Falcon Punch to the nuts would be appropriate in this situation.

reqret17 13

Tuesday 21 April 2015 0:09

yeah uhh sex-driven idiot i hope u broke his dick

Tucatz 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:53

And in the meantime his friends hung out in the driveway, right? Pure class that is. Be glad the jackass is gone.

jiaoh 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:55

hahaha #2, falcon punch ftw

zbots 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:56

I guess he just wanted one for the road

amirn86 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:57

Wait so he had sex with you while his friends waited downstairs? LOL WTF

Steel_BZ 8

Thursday 9 February 2012 9:23

That's common

Littlebit0595 4

Thursday 27 June 2013 23:57

Doesn't make it right.

Puffpie 24

Wednesday 11 February 2015 7:34

Well they were in the driveway

ohhboyy 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:58

lol #7 i was thinking the same thing this guys a jerk & a half!!

maedoc 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 17:02

sounds like this guy's pretty much a bamf

Bobdoleomega 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 4:28

sounds like you're pretty much a douche

magentaballoon15 8

Thursday 7 July 2011 17:58

ok, will somebody please tell what a "BAMF" is?

stupidgingers 6

Tuesday 4 October 2011 21:04

Bad Ass Mother ******

Littlebit0595 4

Thursday 27 June 2013 23:58

Grow up. :l

Owned_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 17:03

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Littlebit0595 4

Thursday 27 June 2013 23:54

Pig

Jnerdy97 13

Friday 19 February 2016 19:54

Any guy that's proud of his heterosexuality is automatically a pig.

shehzeenahmed 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 17:08

you should be happy that he's gone now. good riddance. what an ass.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

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I agree, your life sucks 40 740

You deserved it 3 857

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You deserved it 338

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I agree, your life sucks 44 341

You deserved it 2 985

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I agree, your life sucks 45 908

You deserved it 7 051

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I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 244

Same thing different taste

Jumping to conclusions

Sexy surprise

It's business time

Classic

Off the top of my head…

Expectations

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