Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML
Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML
Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
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Top comments
ObsceneOblivion 4
Owls have better eyesight than humans when it's dark. Maybe it was saving you from something out there :)
jellycorn 13
Hedwig?
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Comments (161)
the_true_batman 10
I bet you recently had a break up where your ex told you that you have a big head? I think your head was so big the owl couldn't avoid it.
RumbleroarsCub 3
Uhhh..well that was a bit out of the blue.
the_true_batman 10
Seinfeld reference. Elaine broke up with a guy who told her she had a big head, and a bird flew into it and a witness said "it was like he saw your head, but he just couldn't avoid it".
icrest80 4
Penis
swankmrpancake 8
Thank you #6 for explaining the reference I red the comment and went "WTF".
fluorescentadole_fml 8
it's sad he had to explain his own reference though
onlychildFTW 34
I got it right away. But I watch Seinfeld a lot so that could be why. I find that show hilarious. Haha.
nerdstuck101 8
Umm ur a loserrr,, lol :p
ObsceneOblivion 4
Owls have better eyesight than humans when it's dark. Maybe it was saving you from something out there :)
sunnyt 5
The Weasely's owl! Saving OP from.. Voldemort?
krylonpony 3
SLENDER-MAN
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
D: Oh god no not bender-man :L
zandalee 20
Owl you get out of the ditch?
ObsceneOblivion 4
21- or Peter Pettigrew... That guy's creepy *shudders*
jellycorn 13
Hedwig?
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Hedwigs a snowy owl but yay Harry Potter reference :)! OP at least you weren't smacked in the face by Eril haha :D
jellycorn 13
Well, it said in the first book that Hedwig was a snowy barn owl, and OP never specified what colour. Would I sound stupid if I asked who Eril is?
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Eril is the Weasley's clumsy owl remember :)? "Some ruddy bird called Eril!" :D
jellycorn 13
I thought it was Erroll...?
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Ahhh damn your right I spelt it wrong >
nesscafe_fml 17
*You're
mockingjaygirl16 8
yay!!!! Harry potter fans!!!!!
DelphiCat 17
It did not say Hedwig was a 'snowy barn owl', the reason being a SNOWY owl is one species and a BARN owl is another - they are separate and do not interbreed. Much more entertaining is the fact snowy owls only come in two colours, white (male) and grey (female). This of course means that the owls used to portray Hedwig, a female, in the films are all male. On a different note, the wingspan of a barn owl is a good meter, so either you have freaking massive windows, it wasn't a barn owl, or at the very least it was not a 'giant barn owl', but rather an awfully small one...
Llama_Face89 34
32- Regardless of whether you call it a snowy owl or a barn owl they're still only found within the arctic circle.
Goldenchest 14
SOREN
Warden1986 16
I was going to say the same thing on a Harry potter note. I was going to say he was trying to give you, your letter to attend Hogwarts. Ps owls and barn owls are located in many place. specially north America.
GryffinClaw 1
Pigwidgon?
Hidur 10
Sounds like someone got accepted into Slytherin!
jellycorn 13
Slytherin? They're a snake.
Hidur 10
They use owls to give acceptance letters. Slytherin is full of twats. Naturally their delivery owl would be a twat too, right? That was my joke
jellycorn 13
Ah, I see. Actually, if OP was a muggle born (seemingly likely-he/she is using muggle technology) a ministry representative would come and explain Hogwarts and magic in general. If you want to get technical about it.
Hidur 10
I don't really want to
mskimbelinapham 5
Lol ;)
random_jay 6
19- perhaps OP is a weasley, and just enjoys using muggle technology
TehParteh 9
Hopefully you aren't seriously heart.
drunkandfml 11
*hurt
TehParteh 9
Thanks for correcting me :)
Hidur 10
I hope so too. It seems like OP and the owl don't get a-lung very well.
krylonpony 3
One does not simply, Typo on an FML.
Llama_Face89 34
69- was there a point to that comma?
jetsown08 21
69- Yet you just did...
KM96 24
Unlucky doesn't even come close to describe the incident. Sorry for you OP ... I hope you or the owl weren't hurt too badly
Zedd_fml 8
Rats! That's quite a hoot, hope owl is fine, flying into a ditch like could leave you in a head spin.
Octain 13
I bet Op submitted this FML before calling for help....
awitchwithawand 5
It must have been Pig! He was on his way to Hogwarts that's all! I'm sure Ron will send an apology letter soon. By owl.
KM96 24
Pig?
jellycorn 13
Pigwidgeon. Ron's owl. Given to him by Sirius black at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban. Named by Ginny.
jellycorn 13
Actually.. It can't be Pig. It says that the barn owl was huge. Pig is a tiny little thing.
ShyAnn29 15
Lots of Harry Potter references, I love it!!, maybe it was one of the schools barn owl?
skyeyez9 25
It was probably the Weasley's family owl Errol. It was old and very clumsy.
ShyAnn29 15
96, you're probably right, he was extremely clumsy!
savvy711 1
I'm loving these hp references(: my kind of people!!
awitchwithawand 5
Oh that's right! It can't be Pig he's small! Never mind, it was Errol :) Harry Potter all the way!!
Oceanlondon 5
heading wanted to give you a message!
jetsown08 21
I think you meant Hedwig.
I_lost_the_game 25
Autocorrect strikes again
music_woman1 11
Did you at least receive your acceptance letter to Hogwarts?
mikeymayhem_87 15
That is one reason why I dislike living in the country. Random critters fly through open windows or jump right out in front of you!