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Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
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Top comments
X_o_X_ocutie 0
u were talking to your dick, Why?
MrNiceGuy518 3
-insert clever penis joke here-
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Comments (415)
CallMeHush 1
I bet she has a small bone to pick with you.
SirEBC 7
Penis whisperer.
jessicajellybean 0
:)
bigbadtim 7
Is his name Dick?
spankymrd 0
I bet that was a SHORT conversation
dasfro 2
were you coaching it?
LaylaaBaybee 0
FYL
keipher09 1
the penis was asking for some action!
IamTheWil 0
Lmao@ the dead baby joke
MAXCAT1220 0
did it respond???
jbtheone_fml 5
haha pathetic looser!!! bad dick! bad dick! no no!
pink_raindrops 26
He probably thought it was like a plant, if you talk to it it'll grow big and strong.
jbtheone_fml 5
doesn't mean he's not pathetic too!!