Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML
Today, I wanted to be nice to my boyfriend and buy him a cake. Not only did I drop it in the bus, when I got home I forgot that I'd put it on my bed, and sat on it. FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML
Today, I spent 4 hours making a cheesecake for my brother's girlfriend, which she begged me for a week to make. After my oven breaking and having to buy a new hand mixer, she tells me she's not going to eat it because this morning she decided to try being a vegan because, "it sounds interesting." FML
Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML
Today, my boyfriend invited me over, so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom handed me a box. When I got home, I opened it. His mom had baked me a break-up cake. FML
Today, I spent an hour frantically searching for my car keys, turning the entire apartment upside down. After giving up and calling a locksmith, I found the keys… in the fridge. Because apparently I put my leftover pizza on top of them. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML
Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Cheesecake is the favorite food of djinns. Your dabbling with this satanic food is bringing all of the turmoil to your life. Just stick with donuts. Homer Simpson never hurt no one.
RichardPencil 32
If she used Jell-O brand no-bake cheesecake, she could have avoided 3 problems. On the label, it says "May prevent gym fights."
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Cheesecake is the favorite food of djinns. Your dabbling with this satanic food is bringing all of the turmoil to your life. Just stick with donuts. Homer Simpson never hurt no one.
Jonkbaby 23
Boy this FML really takes the.... ....cake
EBrogen 12
2 of those problems could be solved with a no cook cheesecake. They're good and none is left at events that my wife takes them to.
RichardPencil 32
If she used Jell-O brand no-bake cheesecake, she could have avoided 3 problems. On the label, it says "May prevent gym fights."
Andrea Klima 4
Hope things haven't been that crazy since.