eric
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Great chat!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Fraser
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Play it cool
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
chewybarseventy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Anonymous
India 🌶️ Spicy
Knock next time please
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
MILF
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
annonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML
Anonymous
Walnut, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
ikungfuyou
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
ShadowJack
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Top comments
X_o_X_ocutie 0
u were talking to your dick, Why?
MrNiceGuy518 3
-insert clever penis joke here-
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Comments (415)
kykyshay 0
why were you talking to your penis?
RedPillSucks 33
He was doing the male version of the "****** Monologues"
kykyshay 0
still?
RyanX92 0
don't worry any guy who says they have never talked to theirs is a liar. and girls you always say guys think with their dicks so implying that it's capable of thought why can't it be able to have a conversation.
maxxsupremus92 0
How retarded!?
rhpsfan9 10
penis is a mans best friend
triggerit 5
penis is a woman best friend!
triggerit 5
penis is a woman best friend!
khatyangelz 0
Nope Diamonds are. :)
jess6blondie9 3
Correction, diamonds and penis are women's bestfriend.
DaveOnDope 4
In reply to 193, that's why I have a diamond studded **** ring.
jess6blondie9 3
That's hot(;
katjiexx 0
that is disturbing on so many levels. YDI
thecovert 7
Hence the reason you and it are so lonely.
applecaketree 0
Today, I caught my son talking to his penis. FML
ChinaBabylove69 0
honestly what's the big deal ! they do it all the time . IT really sucks for him that he got caught, please don't make a big deal about it. He's only human .
BuckThruster 0
did it answer you?
jess6blondie9 3
Winnnnnnn!