By ShadowJack - 29/04/2012 15:10 - United States

Spicy
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 333
You deserved it 9 729

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Top comments

You should have finished like a man in front of her. What's even more awkward is that she stared. Incest?

Comments

Did you tell her to get extra napkins???

Ask for a hot cherry pie! XD

Anything with jerk seasoning.

You don't lock the door? Or do it somewhere you wouldn't get caught.. Now you have to live with that embarrassment. Ya kinda deserve it.

1) Your icon is a win. In other news, yeah, get a burger, and make sure she picks up extra napkins.

So true. This guy is so lucky to have a chill mom like that I mean, looking away and asking would have been better but still

Should have recited the entire McDonald's drive-through rap. With any luck, she'll clue in and provide you with a beat.

"We be up in this drive-thru Order for two I got a craving for a number nine like my shoe!"

McChicken extra sauce, cheese and bacon on the burger!

I guess you want a "Big Mac"

Incest is wincest

did you ask for extra big mac sauce?

Nah, he probably didn't have to...

97: Seeing as how he was already beating off, he probably didn't need another… especially from his mother.

230, I was both disturbed and entertained by your comment, kudos.

Double patty! (Gosh, we sound like such fatasses here. XD ) 1- So is your icon FTW. Fullmetal Alchemist is the best! :D

Cool story bro. What did you get from McDonald's?

This really sounds like the beginning of an incest porno.

Should have said "Did someone say Mclovin?"

You should have finished like a man in front of her. What's even more awkward is that she stared. Incest?

She was probably just in utter shock thus the staring. Why are you saying incest? Very imaginative but you're ridiculous.

Honestly? Put yourself in the mum's position. You wouldn't stand there and keep staring even if you were in shock, you'd close the door and go.

Everybody reacts differently to things. She could have been just trying to figure out what to do.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

I made an account just so I could thumb up your comment...

Congratulations on your first comment!

I agree with SkoomaKi. Why the hell would you just stare?

I also just made an account to thumb up your comment

Anyone ever heard of "rabbit caught in headlights"? No?

No I've heard of a DEER caught in headlights, wtf does a rabbit do?

Have you never been caught in a situation where you didn't know what to do?

Omg thank you for putting that!!!! I'm soo glad someone corrected them. That way they don't say it in another situation n look bad. Now hopefully they will look boss when they use that old expression

Rabbit in the headlights is an equally valid saying.

Is it bad that my first thought was, "Big Mac for compensation" … if of course that even makes sense out of my own mind… :P

Should have finished... like a boss.

Id agree with #2...thats one freaky mom...id be scared.

hahaha dude i did the same thing

It's deer caught in headlights not rabbit, sorry but its true...

Did you finish afterward?

Nothing like the image of Ronald McDonald to really get you going!

If he did finish.. It would make this FML even weirder.

How the hell could you finish after that?

You could finish with Jill.

please tell me you said milkshakes OP. ohh before you thumbs me down its bad joke sunday.(which in case you didnt know is every sunday)

Oh no worries man. There are plenty of other reasons to thumb you down as well.

Ima let you finish, but first, "what would you like from McDonalds?"

168 just so you know im usually alot more funny (god i can already tell this will end badly) then this but the bad jole sunday thing is kind of a long story

Oh god my grammar nazi mind just tried to brbsucide reading your comment, @188.

At least she didn't come in as he was finishing.....

You just slow down to first gear to keep the motor running, and ask for a big Mac, no special sauce!

I thought of the scene in We Need to Talk about Kevin

I'm so glad I wasn't the only person who did. What a great book/movie. It pretty much reaffirmed why I hate children.

It was a clever concept. And yeah. I'm not a fan of kids either.

Not sayjng that im a creepy person for creeping your account and stuff but dont u think your kinda askin for old man dick pics by posting ur cell number just sayin....

never heard of that movie but you made me want to look in to it. seems pretty cool. thanks

When will people learn to lock their doors and to knock. I hope you stopped playing with yourself though while you two stared at each other.

Or finish like a pro

Some people don't have locks, but I agree with you. :P poor OP.

locked door, middle of the day? might as well as just post it as your fb status. ps. McD's afterwards? .*sings* Ameriiiican Liiiiife

I wanna like the second part of what you said and dislike the first. I've lived in twenty houses and none had locks so far. If OP is renting, they may not be allowed to install locks in doors.

Way to play it off mom! Stinks it was kind of awkward though.

u should habr said quarter pounder with cheese then asked her to leave so u can finish

I'm guessing he typed it with 1 foot....and half a brain

29- yep he was jerking off.

as a matter of fact yes I only have one arm. sorry for misspelling ONE word

Do you really only have one arm?

Yo no hablo retardo.

I wanna know too. Seriously dude.. Do u really have just one hand? No joke. Tell us

Actually, he was typing with his moobs

No, he was busy escaping Mexico, until he had a sudden urge to go on his phone to type in this ridiculous comment...

dafuq did I just read

If it was up to the FML community, she should've joined in with you. Be glad we're not a part of your daily life.

If it was Like the porn videos the mom and sister would have joined

The awkward stare down. who caves in first

When words are not enough the eyes can say alot.

So can the hand on the penis

Hmm, having a stare competition with your mom while masterbating? Quite the multitasker!

I bet you'll never do that while she's home again. She won that battle.