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Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
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Top comments
X_o_X_ocutie 0
u were talking to your dick, Why?
MrNiceGuy518 3
-insert clever penis joke here-
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Comments (415)
4Lonely2Stoner0 0
It would be even more awkward if you are a girl.
Itsimy 0
Hahaha
triggerit 5
if you want to have a meaningful conversation with your dick, you must give him good books for reading from the library, switch on history channel, walk him in open air and all stuff... and the girls will be happy to talk to him and even kiss it off
christa953 12
I don't see how OP could not have deserved this...
cupcakemonster10_fml 0
why were u talking to ur penis
kialuvsyoo 3
My only question: what were you saying to it?
TurtleBoy2015 2
Ydi
HomeAl0ne 20
Let me guess, you were doing a stand up comedy routine, right?
sophiagrace26 0
...Why..? Or do i even wanna know?
hcovballer247 0
bet you had a great conversation(;