eric
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Great chat!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Fraser
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Play it cool
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
chewybarseventy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Anonymous
India 🌶️ Spicy
Knock next time please
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
MILF
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
annonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML
Anonymous
Walnut, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
ikungfuyou
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
ShadowJack
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Top comments
X_o_X_ocutie 0
u were talking to your dick, Why?
MrNiceGuy518 3
-insert clever penis joke here-
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Comments (415)
Wheredidgrungego 12
Unexpected and unwanted boners are probably the worst part of being a guy.
KMilliron 2
And girls spurt out their own decayed tissue out of their sexual organs in the form of blood every month. Being a chick I can't tell you what an unwanted boner is like but I'm willing to bet it's not all that bad. Makes for funny FMLs.
TheNewGuy03 29
boners -- or like shooting ropes in a pool! ...whoops. |the kid|
x3herox3 0
#22 rage.
cmunky 0
your dad must do the same, thats why your mom probably just walked away.
Tara_Catherine 0
wow op, you have no life. if youre talkin to your dick, thats pretty pathetic.
marinus_fml 20
Did your dick spit stuff back to you?
alexwhite117 0
say it don't spray it haha
hcovballer247 0
nice..
condog95 0
OP can't get any sex - he must have been trying to cheer it up
cathylee22 4
Were you giving it a pep talk?
RedPillSucks 33
Mouth to mouth resuscitation
TheNewGuy03 29
breathe, dick! BREEEEEEEATHE! |the kid|
lionheart822 13
so OP, what did that little piggy do?
underpaid011 0
better than getting busted playing with it.
aerosmith3312 2
I don't know about that one, it's normal to play with your dick, but what does his mom think when she walks in on him giving his dick the speech from 300? ( in my mind the OP was just getting to the part about not giving up an inch of ground)