Good catch

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 23:52 - United States

Spicy
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 531
You deserved it 90 743

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Top comments

Your dad is awesome!

it's not like they were cemented to the table. stop being lazy and pick them up. youre not hiding a sex swing.

Comments

OP, 9 years is quite a while...I understand though. Keepin' things private...I respect that.

His dads just jealous he hasn't had sex in 9 years.

His dads just jealous he hasn't had sex in 9 years.

I haven't had sex ever..VIRGINITY=BLISS because I don't know what I'm missing! (:

^ I'd find that reasonable if OP's dad had reacted negatively to the condoms.. But he just rudely told her it's ridiculous to hide them. I.. I don't see the jealousy. OP- You deserve it. It's not like you left your handcuffs out, or something.. Just condoms. You have safe sex, big deal. Hide the nipple clamps and shock collar, but no one cares about condoms. You cannnn apologize for having them out, and put them away.. That's reasonable.. but when you said you hid them, I assumed you were a teenage girl.

Well, dear, your "subtlety" obviously needs some work.

Are we talking about me? I could have had sex a long time ago...I CHOSE to be a virgin.

52- Please explain how either comment could possibly be about you. Talk about teenage ego-centrism.. Not everything's about ya, kid. It's a big world.

Thanks for the update...but I wasn't talking to you. Also, I apologize. I realized after I replied, that the comment was directed at OP. I wasn't thinking about the FML and therefore, I was being disrespectful towards him. I'm sorry for the outburst, everyone.

You need to get laid.

not getting laid = not knowing your sexual preferences what you enjoy most, you'll get marries before your first Time, ans then you'll be disappointed because The sex won't be what you wish with your husband, because you find out that you like it hardcore

I LOL'd at 61 lol

i lol'd at how emo 61 looks.

your missing out buddy :P

good for you hahah, your missing so much

I lol'd at the retarded goggles your wearing, so I think we're fair.

52 you can't always choose, eh? xD

#86, you sound kind of mad.

haha sooo it looks like you wrote this post about yourself :)

oops! didn't mean to put that there

i lol'd at "woodys" bio. grow up pleasethanks

Virginity is not dignity, it's just lack of opportunity. It's cute until you are 20, then it's just pathetic.

stereotype much?

**71, 72..stereotype much? wow guys, grow up. He can look however the fuck he wants. Does it really matter that much to you?

139, he? Profile says "he" is a girl.

oh whoops..this is like really awkward. but i didnt look to see if they were a boy or girl, and the picture is really small on the Iphone. Sorry my bad

it's not like they were cemented to the table. stop being lazy and pick them up. youre not hiding a sex swing.

maybe he is hiding a sex swing.

i love ur pic its COLORFUL

Your dad is awesome!

that was worng on the dads part. ya he might be grown up but I'm pretty sure it's not appropriate to leave condoms in the open like tht with company over.

Ummm, might want to work on the reading comprehension thing. The Dad was at his son's house. The son is the one that left them sitting on the table.

The dad was at his daughter's house. OP is a girl

How can you determine the gender of the OP?

We all met her to discuss the topic in a more personal way. Sorry we didn't invite you.

there is a gender icon at the very top

I don't think you know what the word 'prudish' means, Ayame01. Prudish means: "Having or revealing a tendency to be easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity; excessively concerned with sexual propriety". To me, it's obvious that OP's father is not prudish, if he were, he wouldn't have said that to her.

If we're being technical, the daughter was actually the prudish one for being embarrassed by the condoms.

I think it was OP the one who went over the top to hide the condoms. Her attempt obviously wasn't subtle enough, as her dad noticed them anyway. In every case, binkybaby is right, OP was the prudish one.

hahaha! very true though.

if u knew ur dad was coming why didn't u clean up dumbass

oh so what lazy people aren't allowed to have sex now

What about the vase's feelings?

your face is dry!!!

#123 , not interested in what you think of my face. hahaha kthanksbye (:

my dad would be like "u hit that?"

I just noticed that the author used 'hide' in the wrong tense. You have earned a YDI.

I would say "who the fuck cares", but apparently you do.

in the wrong "tense" ;)

I care. It's one of those annoying mistakes that are pretty hard to justify. However, I passed it off as a typo.

#9 Do you feel good about yourself? Who gives a shit. People like you are so annoying thinking you are better because of a little mistake and correcting it. Go cure cancer then you have permission to say anything you want to others.

definitely not. correct: I hid them. also correct: I moved the vase to hide them. incorrect: I moved the vase to hid them. go to school, dumbass.

85 - obvious win

it is in the right tense. YOU are the dumbass here.

I. agree with 83. stop being am ugly English teacher.

it's def in the right tense. looks like you pretty much fkn suck :)

even if it has been changed, they still suck.

you deserve a YDI for being a grammar nazi

'I moved the vase to hide them'....I don't see how that is the wrong tense.

jooliaboolia ftw!! lexeous= fail at trying to be a grammar Nazi. go back to school.

That's a real grammar Nazi - Like a Nazi, he lost the war, and now nobody cares much for him.

ppl come on here to talk about there problems not fucking English class lessons like deal with the mistakes

actually it is in the right tense

It wasn't wrong. it was used correctly. You should make sure that you know what you're talking about before you criticize people.

to parents, children feel they must always be virgins. even if they are married and have kids lol. you never want them to find out

This goes double for grandparents, as my fiancé so cleverly pointed out :(

says Uber leet Poon

Um.. only if you have a family of prudes.

I think it's just a family thing, no matter how you are related you really don't want to believe they get frisky. Unless you are into that sort of thing I suppose.

next time, just get several packs of condoms, and have them strewn across your table in a checkered pattern. then invite your dad. |the kid|

hahaha ya no big deal but you are gorgeoussss. Not that you haven't been told before.

I can hear that being said, by Frank Barone. Anyone else?

haha everybody loves raymond reference! show is super funny.

I think Red from that 70's show is better suited for this line. lol

My first thought was ray's dad lol

yeah I'm thinking more like red foremen.

Definitely! xD And Eric has that guilty look on his face.