Embarrassing, Alcohol, Drunk and Miscellaneous: Get back here! - FML

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 150

You deserved it 2 751

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/06/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 337

You deserved it 3 533

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 121

By MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 451

You deserved it 4 523

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 22:23 - United States

Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 4 853

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 658

You deserved it 2 773

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 058

You deserved it 3 228

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 854

You deserved it 4 365

By hannahlorraine - 25/11/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 219

You deserved it 2 806

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 903

You deserved it 4 873

Next

Top comments

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Friday 12 February 2010 16:15

"If you see a man or woman running down the street at full speed completely naked and in terror, run with that person because you have no idea what is coming from the other direction."

Gidget772001 0

Friday 12 February 2010 16:01

she's crazy!!!

Comments

pfunk129 1

Friday 12 February 2010 16:51

pictures or it never happened

eeeeeeee 5

Friday 12 February 2010 16:55

Pictures or you don't exist.

AngryNinja 1

Saturday 13 February 2010 5:36

does that make you a green square? just sayin'.

KurouTenshi 0

Friday 12 February 2010 16:56

that's effing hilarious! when can I expect to find that on YouTube? I'll give that bitch 5 Stars and 2 thumbs way up her popper!

KurouTenshi 0

Friday 12 February 2010 16:58

damnit iPhone I meant "pooper" D:

bigpapi210 0

Friday 12 February 2010 17:00

she shouldn't drink if she can't handle her alcohol. but then she may be going just crazy.

blastvortex 3

Friday 12 February 2010 17:05

Why didn't you just let her get arrested? That would be the best thing you could do for her at this point (other than getting her help). Then again, some people only learn the hard way.

Odjit 0

Friday 12 February 2010 17:08

This made my day. I love you for posting this.

Igor_g5 0

Friday 12 February 2010 17:10

Is your mom hot? Or scary?

m00r5tuD 0

Friday 12 February 2010 17:28

Canada sounds awesome

Nissi 17

Friday 12 February 2010 17:28

They're coming to take me away, ha-ha, they're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha, to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time..

Odjit 0

Friday 12 February 2010 17:35

That's such a good song ..

omgwtffmmfl 0

Friday 12 February 2010 17:35

Isn't a lil cold in Alberta to be running around naked?

carebrear224 0

Friday 12 February 2010 17:41

that is halirousq

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Management Work Love Jealousy Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Birthday Family Money Gifts Mother in law Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 2 005

Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 236

The Top

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 635

You deserved it 57 605

Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 440

You deserved it 12 089

Today, an old friend of mine refused to go to a movie with me. Turns out he was sitting in front of me with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 710

You deserved it 872

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 686

You deserved it 6 902

Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 811

You deserved it 28 676

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 302

You deserved it 51 886