Embarrassing, Alcohol, Drunk and Miscellaneous: Get back here! - FML

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 150

You deserved it 2 751

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/06/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 337

You deserved it 3 533

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 121

By MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 451

You deserved it 4 523

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 22:23 - United States

Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 4 853

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 658

You deserved it 2 773

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 058

You deserved it 3 228

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 854

You deserved it 4 365

By hannahlorraine - 25/11/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 219

You deserved it 2 806

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 903

You deserved it 4 873

Next

Top comments

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Friday 12 February 2010 16:15

"If you see a man or woman running down the street at full speed completely naked and in terror, run with that person because you have no idea what is coming from the other direction."

Gidget772001 0

Friday 12 February 2010 16:01

she's crazy!!!

Comments

epictrollathon 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 0:45

I'm sorry, but I'd be too busy rolling on the front lawn laughing to chase my mom in a car if she did this. I admire your mother's shamelessness.

marycharles 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 0:53

hahaha I officially love your mom!!!!

mandababyyy 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 1:21

this totally made my day!! oh and btw, ur mom ****** rockssss!

dannthemannxx 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 1:50

lmfaoo that's hilarious.

peachezthelette 22

Saturday 13 February 2010 3:10

lmfao this is the best one I read so far.!

canadianbuddy_fml 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 4:45

awww I wish I was there to see it too bad I was trying to sleep over a yelling idiot :(

comedychick 1

Saturday 13 February 2010 5:26

LMFAOOOOO love THIS

77_PUNKER 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 5:58

damn she got fu#*ed up she will be feeling that hangover

chelseagraden 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 6:02

this is great :)

XR6Falcon 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 12:21

that was snickadoodles in the car chasing her mum!

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Keywords

Work Management Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Gifts Mother in law Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love AITA Argument Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 128

You deserved it 1 010

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 4

The Top

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 281

You deserved it 7 304

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 986

You deserved it 35 123

Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 519

You deserved it 24 551

Today, I found out that my parents got married on their second date because they were mildly intoxicated, bored and wanted something to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 095

You deserved it 1 651

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 661

You deserved it 3 482

Today, I dated my friend’s ex-crush, but she was mad about it. I know about "Girl Code" but the thing is they never dated, so it didn’t count. She’s also in a relationship now with a different dude, so either she hasn't moved on from him or she feels possessive of him. Now I "don’t belong" to their friend group anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 198