Embarrassing, Alcohol, Drunk and Miscellaneous: Get back here! - FML

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 150

You deserved it 2 751

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/06/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 337

You deserved it 3 533

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 121

By MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 451

You deserved it 4 523

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 22:23 - United States

Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 4 853

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 658

You deserved it 2 773

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 058

You deserved it 3 228

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 854

You deserved it 4 365

By hannahlorraine - 25/11/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 219

You deserved it 2 806

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 903

You deserved it 4 873

Next

Top comments

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Friday 12 February 2010 16:15

"If you see a man or woman running down the street at full speed completely naked and in terror, run with that person because you have no idea what is coming from the other direction."

Gidget772001 0

Friday 12 February 2010 16:01

she's crazy!!!

Comments

upshawty 0

Monday 15 February 2010 22:37

i loveee your mom :)

pconn256 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 7:04

im rly sorry i know wut its like to have alcoholic parents

69blondie69 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 7:10

Thats friggen Hilarious!!!

EcGyMz 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 7:56

lmfao

blink831forever 13

Tuesday 16 February 2010 9:20

I'm sorry but that is ******* hilarious!! I hope you were able to get your mom home safely.

shaenaa 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:21

LMFAO.

suksforu 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 2:11

holy shit thats hilarious

lilbz76 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 6:32

you could have at least told us if she is hot or not...maybe post some pics...

maddie1 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 20:33

omg i woulda put het straight in the loony bin

jes23 0

Friday 19 March 2010 0:08

LMFAO

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 049

You deserved it 39 411

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 442

You deserved it 4 299

The Top

Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 230

You deserved it 2 418

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 362

You deserved it 12 707

Today, I threw away a bunch of candy wrappers from my pocket, I also managed to throw away $20. That was the only money I had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 497

You deserved it 11 515

Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 569

You deserved it 4 180

Today, my son came home from school with a catastrophic report card. When I asked him for explanations, he replied, "I'm hesitating between family environment and heredity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 326

Today, my life is so messed up that when I got pulled over, the officer asked about my life and not only did I not receive a ticket, he made me write down his personal number, patrol number and to call if I ever needed a favor or to talk, telling me that I had a friend in him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 272