Health, Injury and Weekend: Enjoy the weekend!

Enjoy the weekend!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2022 06:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was accidently stabbed in the shin with a pen, right before a long weekend. It will need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 92

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

MVP

By Darren - 31/08/2020 04:01 - Australia - Greenacre

Today, during my second shift back at work after missing four weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need three weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 365

Someone's getting coal from Santa...

By Anonymous - 15/12/2017 15:00

Today, my nephew stabbed me in the knee with a colouring pencil. The hospital says he ripped a hole in a tendon and I need surgery to fix it or one day it'll snap. I’ll have a limp for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 982

You deserved it 286

By jmac - 11/03/2012 03:06 - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 417

You deserved it 4 302

By sorethumb - 15/12/2015 23:39 - United Kingdom - Bookham

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 522

You deserved it 3 398

By Anonymous - 02/09/2017 13:00

Today, changing the garbage in the bathroom at work resulted in a hospital visit after an incorrectly disposed used needle scraped into my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 088

You deserved it 222

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 14:00 - Malaysia

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 133

You deserved it 3 138

By Shone - 15/04/2012 23:39 - Canada - Grand Forks

Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 721

You deserved it 3 852

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 348

By Anonymous - 11/11/2015 11:03 - United States - Rochester

Today, I fractured my shinbone after slipping on a leaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 802

You deserved it 2 279

By terpity12 - 07/08/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 392

You deserved it 24 373

RichardPencil 30

Friday 11 February 2022 18:09

******' pens. You can't trust 'em. You know who you can always trust? Pencils.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Friday 11 February 2022 18:09

******' pens. You can't trust 'em. You know who you can always trust? Pencils.

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 418

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, after cancelling work, arguing with my family, scrambling to pack my bags, speeding to the airport and filling in immigration forms to fly out to have a much needed holiday, I wasn't allowed to check in. My passport has less than 6 months away from expiration on it. Yes, that's a thing, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 1 399

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 750

You deserved it 3 998

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 522

You deserved it 3 241

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 324

You deserved it 6 042

Today, I saw my old high school crush in a grocery store. I panicked, because the last time I saw her, I was spouting embarrassing teenage incel horseshit at her, so I dodged out of view to look at something. She'd seen me, came over, and found me awkwardly crouched in the vegetable section, staring at a cucumber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 574

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 931

You deserved it 7 330

Enjoy the weekend!

Same thing different taste

MVP

Someone's getting coal from Santa...

Not my day, is it?

Top comments

Comments