Hipster alert

By Anonymous - 24/09/2012 05:07 - Canada - Port Hardy

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 460
You deserved it 3 228

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Top comments

dtbomb 3

I would say do it at that one river but you've probably never heard of it.

kikimonole 13

Oh dear. Another dumbass moron has been created! By that I mean your boyfriend. Ask SIRI! Seriously she (it?) gives you suggestions on where to hide a body.

Comments

kikimonole 13

Oh dear. Another dumbass moron has been created! By that I mean your boyfriend. Ask SIRI! Seriously she (it?) gives you suggestions on where to hide a body.

the_anti_hipster 7

RUN. RUN FAST. before your boyfriend does....you know, before it was cool.

Buy 3-4 acres of land in a remote area, dig a 7 ft hole and put the body in with some Lyme. That land is still good for 30-40 more bodies!

linx468 8

#1, you're an ugly fuck. Get the fuck out before I ruin my PC with copious amounts of vomit.

Hello 911 there's a potential hipster muderer on FML, i believe it is a female. Ok i'll hold...

Why was 22's comment moderated? Did he have a good way to do it or something?? O_o

RedPillSucks 31

Pigs.... Pigs will eat anything and have been successfully used to dispose of bodies (or so I've been told) No body, no murder

84- that's right, pigs are omnivores

Siri will tell you where local dumps, ravines, fields and sewers are. She's pretty good like that xD

Hydrochloric acid and plastic drum, DO NOT use bathtub.-Walter White.

BeforeItWasCool 12

I was a dumbass moron before it was cool! But now I come to think about it OP, when was Crüe ever hipster?

She should just dump him and be done with it.

Dekarian 7

45 - It's not murder if it's a hipster.

45 I'd say she's got several thousand witnesses who'll swear she was with them when the "murder" took place...

broseph_joseph 5

"Fine. I will put my 'yard trimmings' in a car compactor."-Fat Tony

I was thinking the same thing. Crüe is not nor will it ever be hipster. Thank god

112 - I actually went to the comment section specifically to question why Mötley Crüe was referred to as hipster. Amazing band, I just saw them in concert recently with Kiss and they brought the house down. :D But yeah, thank you two for restoring a bit of my faith in the Crüe's fan base ^_^

Were you by any chance in San Antonio? I went to that concert. :D

Drop him in the mainstream

BeforeItWasCool 12

No problem 178, the Crüe are a legendary band. I don't understand OP's distaste

@ Redpillsucks : You need to pull the teeth - they don't digest

dtbomb 3

I would say do it at that one river but you've probably never heard of it.

How do you kill a hipster? You drown him in the mainstream.

How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram

Ask seri I'm sure she'll tell you

96- Is seri like the knockoff android version of Siri?

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his low-fat frappe before it was cool.

130 nope...seri is the hipster form of Siri

153 frappes are made from ice...

The more popular, and actually sense-making, version of that joke is--”How did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate the pizza before it was cool.”

154- that's probably why I've never heard of it.

I have all of those things, except i really need the glasses and it's my natural accent :L

You must be so cool.

Not really, i just find it amusing how some people will go to such lengths to be different and end up not achieving it...

I have the Crüe shirt as they rule. And like you I'm from England so yeah I talk like that too. OP smack the shit outta him

Will someone explain how Crüe shirt makes you a hipster...?

shadexilmaendu 4

I'm with @93. Motley Crüe is way too popular to be considered hipster. If he starts listening to Pedro the Lion and bands you've never heard of before, then he's lost ;p

You could always use the Breaking Bad method...although it is somewhat messy

Not if you get the plastic barrel and not use the bath tub!

His already brain-dead :0

His already brain-dead what?

icrest80 4

^his already brain dead penis

trixy81 10

He's.

I think 6 is already brain-dead

It's a sign that hipsters are taking over the world.

Zoh_Aubrey 8

Hipsters can't take over the world. That's too mainstream.

PhishloverA 14

#7 so instead of a zombie apocalypse we're gonna have a hipster apocalypse?

How is a British accent even attributed to the personality of a 'hipster'?

I'm British myself and I was thinking the exact same thing. Maybe because English was "originally" from England, I mean that's the only connection I can make with being a hipster and a British accent.

It's because it's a fake British accent and he's trying to be cool.

Hipsters have a British accent because they had it before it became cool

OP should take comfort from the fact that it's guaranteed he sounds like a muppet to anyone who's British. It's also worth mentioning there's no such thing as a 'British accent'. There are a myriad of accents within Britain and I promise you, he's not accurately imitating any of them.

He's probably trying to do a Hugh Grant-esque mumble and failing miserably....

jem970 19

Actually English has German origins :)

32- he probably sounds like dick van dyke.

88, what does that have to do with -anything?-

Thanks for all of the responses guys. It looks like this guy will look more like a complete idiot than a hipster. But then again...all hipsters can be generalised as idiots.

88-Get a life

X_Codes 11

@88: No, it doesn't. English has a common ancestor with modern German, but English is a bastard language with a whore mother and a half-dozen candidates for baby-daddy. If you needed to point to one language and name it as the absolute root of modern English, that language would probably be either Latin (from when the British Isles were occupied by Rome) or French (likely from the Renaissance, when everyone wanted to be a Frenchman for some reason).

179- I don't even know where to begin on your comment.

Actually English is considered a Germanic language as opposed to Spanish or Italian which are considered Latin based.

Yes, English is Germanic, but German actually is one of the languages whose words are -least- donated to English. And again, this has nothing to do with anything.

I know you did not waste a comment space to say "*He's"

I meant to reply to another comment, it stuffed up. Can a mod please delete it?

You should leave his body in a public place so all can see what will happen to hipsters.

It would be on instagram.

Best idea of the year award goes to you sir!

icmandel 2

Today, my girlfriends transition into an over-analytical, uptight bitch is complete. It started when i got my first pair of prescription glasses and was really selfconcious about the frames, got worse when i had to start buying tshirts at discount stores because money is so tight and finished when i started acting out monty python to cheer her up. Im considering where im going to bang her sister!!

Anyone else sick of these counter fmls on the comments all the time?

siickman 7

Sick of them, yes. Can they be fucking hilarious sometimes (key word sometimes), of course.