Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
Today, my wife threw up in the middle of sex, then fell asleep right after. I didn't even finish and it'd been over a month since the last time. FML
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Top comments
andres19 0
that's why you wear protection
ahlun 0
doggy skill requires skill
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Comments (253)
ahlun 0
doggy skill requires skill
AllKnowingBrett 0
style*
khaya 9
And in most cases a video camera.
ahlun 0
style^ that is
CDABXXX 5
Doggy skill requires style.
khaya 9
39, you exceeded my expectations.
IhateDrake 0
roflcopter
impregnator 0
if u do it right she has no strength to throw her head back. her head shud be in a pillow muffling the the screams derived from liver busting pokes that have been delivered.
atthegates 0
56....that's the stupidest thing I have heard all year
WaylonD 4
Lmfao! I always read your posts in an Asian accent in my head, like the old Kung-Fu movies sounded.
a_cassie 4
56, what does that mean? haha
RileyFerrari 0
71 - Love your profile! TAYLOR ******* HALL!
WaylonD 4
I'm talking about you 41.
rebekahah 7
2 heads are better than one... so quit trying to combine them!
biggestboss 3
let's go OILERS!
freddyisepic 2
lol roflecopter indeed
richard92105 0
anal ought to teach her to do that again
AMagicalLeoplura 0
lol oilers suck ****, last place 2 years in a row. Canucks gonna beat you guys tomorrow, also Woot! we're in 1st!!!!!
R34luver 5
Srry guys, LA Kings are gonna take over! even with Kopitar out! PRIDE~PASSION~POWER Go Kings!
WOODYfromthaBAY 0
lmao. 131, what just happened to ur kings? nice little loss to tha sharks. haha. sharks baby! this is our year!
182crazyking 9
What's hockey?
WOODYfromthaBAY 0
@138.. just some game people play with a bat and a ball. its rather lame.
gamercanadian 11
Canucks baby all the way
beeship321 5
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who cheers for the leafs. Go leafs go! ^_^
WOODYfromthaBAY 0
sorry kid, tha leafs just arent good. they have 1 thing goin for em though.. sweet jerseys. lol.
dathotginge 0
74-WIN!!!!
dudeitsdanny 10
So... Paramore vs. Green Day.. Yeah! Wonder who won.. >.>;; Yeah, that's the only competition I've been keepig track of..
Naomiiiii 0
Detroits gonna show everyone this year! 20 straight playoff seasons, more that any other team from any sport ever ever! Woo hoo! :)
AceArctic 4
154 I do after watching the love guru.
biggestboss 3
well guess who beat Vancouver twice in a row, yea that's right the OILERS!!
WOODYfromthaBAY 0
tha oilers arent good man. lol. sharks baby! niemis bringin a cup to sj this season! we have a legit vezina tropyhy candidate, and a calder trophy candidate. our year!
smarterthanyou60 0
Vancity Canucks for the ******* cup baby! Oh and dude, stop being so happy about the Oilers winning against us twice in a row when we already won the President's Trophy boy. You can clearly tell Canucks aren't trying anymore because we don't want to risk an injured player and the players are resting for the playoffs son. We pretty much already got the Stanley Cup in the palms of our hands!
BIGshooter 2
beautiful jail bait.
BIGshooter 2
that was@78
Bofopio 0
Marc Nopfler
RileyFerrari 0
Carolina Hurricanes and Pittsburgh Penguins, just sayin'...
cheerchika 0
Canucks all the way!!!
cadillacgal79 32
What happened to this thread?
Frenchface 0
nicccce lol
cicibizzy112 0
Omg that is like sooooo crazy like I am dying!!!!!! Fork you!!!!
number1beaner 0
If at first you don't succeed try again.
T3P33_fml 0
if at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
leahlolitaa 0
wow, that really sucks. at least she got an ******.
Sprklss 0
Half an ******...maybe not even half...
insanesna1l 0
I read this as, "today I had sex, **** all your lives except mine"
counterfit 10
At least they did it together.
jess6blondie9 3
Hmm. Sucks for you guys.
mygreenhoodie 0
hmmm good call
EffinToofer 3
Not really, they both came.
Chhrrriiiisssss 1
Your hot.
RedPillSucks 33
But the headbutt wouldn't have happened if they were both sucking.
zachgriggs13 0
ur hott
zachgriggs13 0
hey ur hott
fluorescentadole_fml 8
is that you in your picture? looks like ron ang ginny weasley! : D
andres19 0
that's why you wear protection
ILoveEmoes 9
^ Epic.
SamChandler22 1
hahaha
ScaughtieHolden 11
I see what you did there
rebekahah 7
duh, winning!
Aznboifreakster 0
lol
biggestboss 3
your pretty! ;)
RedPillSucks 33
I'm on pins and needles here!!! I've got to know!!!! Your pretty what???
parkg1996 0
same here tell us!!!!
T3P33_fml 0
gollum: "my preeeciiooouusss" biggestboss: "your pretty" ?
ImInHawaiiBITCH 0
win^^
Rosalie_Haostn 0
lovely lol
xiar 0
LOLOL.
xiar 0
LOLOL.
holymolybro 0
Did you perhaps laugh? I mean you're married, just do it again.
insanesna1l 0
that's what's wrong with this fml. Married people don't have sex
franniedottp 8
103, I beg to differ. I've heard my parents in bed far too much. Insomnia, FML.
MissMaryContrary 3
We're newlyweds. We were both virgins before marriage. You do the math.
lmaoatall 6
hahaha that was orgasmic- nothing wrong with a little primal, savage love makeing, but next time, use your heads and wear helmets
JockeyGirl 0
I'm pretty sure they already used their heads x]
IStoleTheCookies 16
^ Lol, win.
lmaoatall 6
29 note my pun- head
jibz 6
I read 'making love to my wife' and concluded that this is not an FML. Bro, you're one of the lucky ones.
bachooka 5
agreed! marriage is the female equivalent of ED
heathersmorin 0
Are you suppost to be pregnant in your profile picture??^^^
xojessayox 4
lmao 27 you fail.
xojessayox 4
lmao 27 you fail.
sgtrobswifey 0
I think 27 has her baby in a wrap.. not sure though.
tinybear93 0
hahaha.
jeffav51 0
haha 44/46 you truely fail
hilariexcore 0
44/46 - You're an awful bitch. 27 has her shirt pulled out showing off her weight loss. I actually saw her today on a mutual friend's page on a fitness website and she's lost a lot of weight. There's no need for bitches like you asking if she's pregnant. That's just rude and uncalled for.
hilariexcore 0
42 and 44/46 - You're two are awful bitches. 27 has her shirt pulled out showing off her weight loss. I actually saw her today on a mutual friend's page on a fitness website and she's lost a lot of weight. There's no need for bitches like you asking if she's pregnant. That's just rude and uncalled for.
hilariexcore 0
it said my first comment didn't post then I realized that it was actually was 42 calling her pregnant. I admit I screwed up but I still think they were both being bitches.
warpig182 0
yea asshole shes just fat not pregnate. Dont offend pregnet people
cc_the_beast 6
In her profile it sex she has 3 kids, she may well have been pregnant in the pic. Back in your box, chocolate :-)
princessRiRi97 0
i believe she has hit her head a few times and look what happens
hilariexcore 0
Actually, I'm friends with her. My comment was correct.