By megasniper240 - 19/6/2012 15:35 - United States - Ronkonkoma
  Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML
megasniper240 Say more :
OP here, to clear it up I was on my futon in my living room and they happened to catch a glimpse through the window. Also, it was an old lady with her husband.
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  copydude  |  7

While living in SA we had continuous visits from JW's every other day for weeks they canvased our neighborhood.. I finally got tired of chasing them off.. so the next time they came to the door. I stripped down to my tightey whiteys, messed up my hair and answered while breathing hard.. and said what do you want!? you just interrupted me and my wife having a quickie ... they never came back

  monmon16  |  5

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

  nerdking21  |  10

That neither works for the JWs nor the Mormons. I have found though that if you tell them that they must sign a contract before entering your house that makes them pay you for any mention of religion, God, saving souls, Bibles, One true church and the such, they will go away and never come back.

  jweezy89  |  4

Hey, there is nothing wrong with firing off a few knuckle children. And I'm sure op wasn't just whackin away in front of an open front door, so whatever was seen by the witness is their own fault.

  AKGirlinSD  |  20

2, He probably wasn't expecting company. Plus, we all just learned how to get them to leave us alone. Woohoo! *complete sarcasm (I wouldn't want random people watching me get off)*

  cr3ativity  |  15

I just remembered the scene in SouthPark where in the episode where there is no more internet, Randy uses the Red Cross's Internet to jack off.
When they found him, Randy was saying, "oh God!!! there was this huge white ghost and I was fighting it! Don't you see all of his ectoplasm?"

Sorry in advance to hardcore SouthPark fans if I got the quote wrong.

  Drizzelhell  |  3

I think its funny trying to be all big and bad. 7 months wow thats a long relationship try 3 years and and one of them spent apart do to army which is fine we both understand thats why we signed. But remember she likes u, Why doesn't she love u? To me you are not even worth thumbing down. Ur entire profile screams give me attention yeah grow up.

  iStrukk  |  7

It's cool guys, he just forgot his bloating medication. I'm not going to argue with a guy like him, it's like arguing with a blonde, after hours of logical appeals, you still end up looking for the corner in the circular room.

Arguing with people over the Internet is lame. I have one thing to say to him.

Your middle sprinkler in your backyard is broken. You might want to get that fixed.

LoganBurrito I haven't seen you forever.

  AKGirlinSD  |  20

4, By far, hands down the funniest comment I've read in FML. And I've been reading them for over 3 years now. I always talk about how they have no proof :-).

  trollcrusher  |  17

I'm pretty sure that JWs believe that Jesus was a prophet and such, but he was not God embodied in the second person of the Trinity. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's my understanding.

  Shrike  |  22

LOL no it doesn't. It's the Anglicised form of Yahweh, from the Hebrew YHWH. It's the name of the god of Israel. Basically, it means "God", not "Jesus". JWs don't believe in the Trinity, BTW.


324- maybe I was taught wrong? I was brought up in a Baptist church. I've heard Him be called (excuse my spelling!) Jehovah Jyra, Jehovah Shamah, and Jehovah Nee-See. I totally just sounded those out.