Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were watching a movie in my basement. I ran upstairs and popped a bag of popcorn. Later I came downstairs to find my 10 year-old brother sitting next to my girlfriend, saying, "My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled, "Geronimo!" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML
Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
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Top comments
meaganwas 0
You have the best little brother ever.
drybamboo 0
That ten year old knew what he was saying. LOL.
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Comments (121)
RockieGirl 0
I'd be flattered! :D haha, oh and #6, of COURSE we want to hear that, we don't want you thinking we're ugly!
holeinchest 0
You are quite the good-looking gal. Just FYI
nothingbut_fml 0
I agree
tehrealone 6
Creepers hit on profile pics online...
JGunit 0
oh no ur gf found out u wanna **** her that's awful I mean being her boyfriend and all how could u have those kinds of thoughts
vnbritt 0
Sarcasm win.
cchamp27 0
i dont know why this is an FML. this is probably going to lead to you most likely not being a virgin any more
FusioN_fml 0
i moderated this FML FusioN™ Approves of this Message.©
thirdbase1733 0
that's cool.
TPxSTIFFY925 0
that's very cool
HolyCarp 5
it's ******* lame!
llSgtScopell 0
I think you used you little brother to get a point across to her. You don't look like a jerk for pressuring her and if she does say yes....well mission successful Sneaky bastard
gabeepicfails 0
Haha man that's embarassing .
yoyoyomaia 0
later? how long does it take you to make popcorn?
skeez_fml 0
unless your girlfriend is a prude and got offended, then i wouldn't really consider this an FML. maybe now you'll actually get some instead of complaining to your little brother.
Aoeu 0
Ha ha ha... I must say, when I was 10 I knew what that meant. Your little brother tried to spite you. ;D I hope this all ended well.
urrka 0
Why does no one understand that KIDS ARE LIKE SPONGES? They DO hear you and they WILL repeat it if they think it'll get a good reaction