Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were watching a movie in my basement. I ran upstairs and popped a bag of popcorn. Later I came downstairs to find my 10 year-old brother sitting next to my girlfriend, saying, "My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled, "Geronimo!" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML
Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
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Top comments
meaganwas 0
You have the best little brother ever.
drybamboo 0
That ten year old knew what he was saying. LOL.
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Comments (121)
annis_fml 0
Why would you say such things in the vicinity of a 10-year-old. Well, at least she's already your girlfriend so although she might be a little disturbed that you would say something like that around your brother, it's not like it's a dealbreaker. If you had just started seeing the girl, that would be a different story.
braFTW 0
Younger brothers, f*** your life since 19__ (or 20__ =P)
ElDiablo_fml 0
I just wanna point out that an 10 year old set you up in a matter of seconds, where its taken you this long.....
olivejuice 0
Why do people not watch what they say in front of kids?? It will come back to haunt you in one way or another, obbbbviously....
Jefe_fml 0
I'm sure she already knew that. Any semi-intelligent girl knows the first thing on a guy's mind...And yea kids have big mouths =p
synnerr 0
Dude, YDI. You don't say stuff like that to a 10 year old, they loves spilling. My sister did something similar.
mikeloyst 0
you never know, she might like the idea. And 10 year old knew exactly what he was saying
CaitlinRoxx 0
hahaha sucks for you
bonare0607 0
Why are you saying those things about your girlfriend to your 10-year-old brother? And heaven forbid your girlfriend find out you're sexually attracted to her.
doomfromheaven 0
I think your lil bro just wanted to screw you...