Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were watching a movie in my basement. I ran upstairs and popped a bag of popcorn. Later I came downstairs to find my 10 year-old brother sitting next to my girlfriend, saying, "My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled, "Geronimo!" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML
Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
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Top comments
meaganwas 0
You have the best little brother ever.
drybamboo 0
That ten year old knew what he was saying. LOL.
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Comments (121)
Megbo 0
hahahahaha go lil bro!
rubikscubenut 0
ha! nice username
jemmehlee 1
at least he didnt say to your parents
white_mouse 0
As a babysitter I know for a fact that by 10 a boy would know what sex is, and stuff like "screwing". Sounds like he decided he wanted to **** with you and say that. ROFL. But yeah, if it's the right girlfriend, that sounds like a good thing that he said that, not really an FML.
elina_fml 0
1. Why do you talk about your girlfriend like that? 2. Why do you talk about your girlfriend like that in front of your brother?
yankeeangel988 0
pssh if my boyfriend didn't say that about me i'd be a little concerned.... regardless of whether or not we have sex.
BaldOuting 0
agree with #48 - if she's a gf, not a f*** buddy, you don't talk about screwing her brains out.
Shel_bell27 1
Lol wow.
podrummer9209 0
Pahahahah. Total win. Your brother wins 10 man points.
diet_cocaine 0
what did ur gf say??? mine would smile and ask if we could go upstairs for a few minutes ;)
HolyCarp 5
a few minutes? Oop...