Kids, Dogs and Love: Deflection

Deflection

By Richard - 25/06/2012 03:03 - United States - Uxbridge

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 484

You deserved it 6 198

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Same thing different taste

Time to run

By wastedtime - 13/09/2020 10:57 - United States

Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 543

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 20/06/2012 16:41 - United States - Naperville

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 756

You deserved it 3 764

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 18:00

Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 982

By Lilly - 30/10/2012 18:45 - United States

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 961

You deserved it 4 370

Kinda sus, dude

By Anonymous - 10/01/2015 20:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 204

You deserved it 5 194

The talk

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 06:00

Today, I asked my husband if we could start talking about kids. He said sure, so we talked about kids. Then I asked if we could maybe start trying to have kids, and he said, “Absolutely fucking not, are you mad? What’s wrong with you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 539

By Twiggysucks68 - 07/01/2013 01:49 - United States - Antioch

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 316

You deserved it 2 823

Baby baby

By Anonymous - 12/12/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 198

By spermbankonlegs - 16/03/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 610

You deserved it 4 860

By familypet - 09/01/2016 03:09 - United States - Vista

Today, I overheard my parents talking about our family pet. Or at least I thought they were, until my mother exclaimed, "Honestly, I don't know why we keep her." Our dog is male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 591

You deserved it 1 794

supimnyancat 9

Monday 25 June 2012 9:15

Didn't you talk to her about that matter before you married her?

Ajwc101 24

Monday 25 June 2012 9:19

Maybe adopt? She may just not want go thru labour.

Comments

jnick020804 2

Tuesday 26 June 2012 3:23

Name it marly FTW

thedimedrl 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 5:29

say yes to the dog. It's a test. If the dog reaches one year old, you've proved you can keep something not you alive.

ChubbyNicki 6

Tuesday 26 June 2012 7:20

Let's think about the one who would go through those 9 months of pregnancy and then 10 hours of her ****** being ripped apart and sown back together here...

diaspora_fml 26

Tuesday 26 June 2012 9:34

If you are so pathetic that you have to give "hints" about wanting children to someone you're actually married to, it's unlikely you have the balls to actually produce any.

donut_gurl 8

Tuesday 26 June 2012 13:21

people really need to discuss the idea of children BEFORE getting married!

tsatrape 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 17:48

I think that you guys should talk it out a little more and maybe she will understand a little better (:

devrock 2

Tuesday 26 June 2012 18:13

A conversation you should have had before, so I have no sympathy for you. Get a divorce now.

lastrael 3

Tuesday 26 June 2012 20:33

1. You really should have talked about this before you got married. 2. Look up childbirth. The baby is like a little vampire & it ******* hurts to be delivered.

wilddun 1

Tuesday 26 June 2012 20:40

Get a divorce or a vasectomy, don't try to rape her and force her to get pregnant, she'll just abort without telling you. Sorry dude you really should've talked about this before getting married. This solution has no compromise.