Kids, Dogs and Love: Deflection

Deflection

By Richard - 25/06/2012 03:03 - United States - Uxbridge

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 484

You deserved it 6 198

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Same thing different taste

Time to run

By wastedtime - 13/09/2020 10:57 - United States

Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 543

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 20/06/2012 16:41 - United States - Naperville

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 756

You deserved it 3 764

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 18:00

Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 982

By Lilly - 30/10/2012 18:45 - United States

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 961

You deserved it 4 370

Kinda sus, dude

By Anonymous - 10/01/2015 20:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 204

You deserved it 5 194

The talk

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 06:00

Today, I asked my husband if we could start talking about kids. He said sure, so we talked about kids. Then I asked if we could maybe start trying to have kids, and he said, “Absolutely fucking not, are you mad? What’s wrong with you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 539

By Twiggysucks68 - 07/01/2013 01:49 - United States - Antioch

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 316

You deserved it 2 823

Baby baby

By Anonymous - 12/12/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 198

By spermbankonlegs - 16/03/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 610

You deserved it 4 860

By familypet - 09/01/2016 03:09 - United States - Vista

Today, I overheard my parents talking about our family pet. Or at least I thought they were, until my mother exclaimed, "Honestly, I don't know why we keep her." Our dog is male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 591

You deserved it 1 794

supimnyancat 9

Monday 25 June 2012 9:15

Didn't you talk to her about that matter before you married her?

Ajwc101 24

Monday 25 June 2012 9:19

Maybe adopt? She may just not want go thru labour.

Comments

Bebbo_fml 21

Tuesday 26 June 2012 23:40

Quite frankly this could be a marriage breaker. OP you shouldn't try to force your wife or pressure her to have a child. If she doesn't want one and you do, either end the relationship or accept her wishes and find an alternative to care for your new found paternal instincts

theidude 0

Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:32

I wanna marry your wife!! Just For Your Information: to have kid is not an obligation and to have kids is one of the worst thing everyone can do to our planet. Just adopt or yes: have a great dog or two!

5t3ff1k4h 44

Wednesday 27 June 2012 19:20

**** you. If I decide to have a biological kid, that's none of your concern. If I decide to have 17, that's another story.

Isa_fml 20

Thursday 28 June 2012 1:04

Why on earth don't people discuss this BEFORE committing to marriage?

MaryPoppins88 14

Thursday 28 June 2012 1:10

I've seen a bunch of these on here and your an idiot for not discussing kids before getting married

bbiscool2 12

Thursday 28 June 2012 5:36

Just get her pregnant....

Meg_0301 4

Thursday 28 June 2012 9:04

Isn't it usually the men that don't want kids? Seems that you would be a great papa. :)

kyrisonfusion 22

Saturday 30 June 2012 14:05

So that's a no to the dog is suppose?

squishycat 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 4:04

I'd rather have pets than kids any day! It's all fine and dandy for you to want kids, but what about her? she'd the one who has to go through all the pain and ******* misery of carrying the rugrat, not to mention the pain of actual birth and the wreckage it makes of her body, plus the the fact that you'll be all proud pappa, yet she's the one who gets to look after the thing for 99% of the time. Don't be such a selfish dick!