Today, I overheard my parents talking about our family pet. Or at least I thought they were, until my mother exclaimed, "Honestly, I don't know why we keep her." Our dog is male. FML
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Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog, when a lady called out to me asking, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Assuming she meant the dog, I told her that he was a boy. When I turned away, I heard her say to her kid, “I was talking about the person walking the dog, but whatever,” then audibly laughing. FML
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
Today, I realized my mom tells our dogs she loves them more than she says it to me. FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML
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Top comments
LilMissCanadian 22
Don't sweat it OP, they probably weren't being serious. Parents always say things like that when they're ticked off.
drayloon 50
Maybe your parents didn't like the dog because they thought she was a bitch?
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Comments (59)
Livin_Like_Larry 29
I bet they knew you were there and we're just joking around. If not, fyl OP
drayloon 50
Maybe your parents didn't like the dog because they thought she was a bitch?
Rawr3175 7
I don't mean to be rude, but you should probably the post again. The dog is a male.
somethingtru 3
#9 learn to complete your sentences and not leave out important words
drayloon 50
The dog is male but the parents thought it was female Also just for goofs, you should probably proofread your replies to make sure you didn't forget any words lol
scyth3s 13
Or he shouldn't reply when what he has to say is retarded.
riahlum 12
Pretty sure by "thought they were talking about the pet until" meant she thought it was about the dog and then realized it was about her.
britbear0731 9
a bitch is a female dog. he was saying that the parents thought the dog was female. my mom calls my male dog a she all the time. she forgets he is male
JKPwnage 27
#9 I think you accidentally the verb.
ChrisIsCool07 5
I see what you there
swag_bear 18
Maybe it could be a new female pet! But really, that sucks op
LilMissCanadian 22
Don't sweat it OP, they probably weren't being serious. Parents always say things like that when they're ticked off.
Lalala579121 27
What if they weren't ticked off.
KhaleesiDannie 26
It could be your mom misspoke my mom is constantly calling all our animals girls or boys no matter the actual gender
ChopSuey444 20
This is exactly what I was gonna say. We have a male cat that my mom ALWAYS calls "she".
Bekll 31
Same. My family has three boy cats my father keeps referring to with female pronouns.
stingray112 24
Parents can be assholes sometimes sorry friend
jentrynicole 20
It could've been that your mom accidentally called your pet a her. Or it could just be then joking between each other about you. I'm sure they still love you and just thought they were being funny.
oiler 21
Yes, its hilarious to talk behind peoples back. Especially if their your kid
chinaski7628 32
My family tends to be very sarcastic. We aren't very good with feelings, but we're great with jokes. To outsiders, it can seem like we're really mean to each other, but that's just how we are. All families work in different ways. Most likely it was a joke.
leogachi 15
@24 Everyone talks about other people when they aren't around. It's only a bad thing if you wouldn't say those things to the person's face.
Pop_And_Lock 14
Maybe you're the only one who pays attention to your dog.
jazzybaby179 22
Was it because he ate all the cinnamon rolls..?
killer0689 20
I was also thinking of the same. you spoke my words.
convive 23
Stockholm syndrome at its worst.