Love: Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman...

By waaah - 25/06/2012 07:00 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 348

You deserved it 2 728

Love

Our house, in the middle of our street

Empathy lives

Triage

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 216

By unsatisfied - 01/02/2010 00:20 - United States

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 684

You deserved it 3 880

By Anonymous - 04/10/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 678

You deserved it 5 892

By Anonymous - 18/07/2012 08:57 - United Kingdom - Peterborough

Today, I was convinced I hadn't locked up properly when leaving work, and almost had a panic attack at the train station. I went all the way back into work, to find I had in fact locked up properly. It made me nearly two hours late home. This isn't the first time I've done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 659

You deserved it 9 403

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 466

You deserved it 2 248

By snowbum69 - 15/12/2013 08:38 - United States - Meridian

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 346

You deserved it 5 820

By maggie - 30/11/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, I got a round brush stuck in my hair so badly that I couldn't get it out for 45 minutes, and had a panic attack. I had to drive through town with a brush dangling from my head, to the hair salon, and listen to them laugh while they got it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 697

You deserved it 8 847

Clipper time

By azurekitten - 07/06/2021 07:59

Today, I once again woke up to find a huge gash on the back of my foot with blood pouring out. Turns out, I scratched it with my other toenail in my sleep. This is the ninth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 1 084

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 650

By Grant Williams - 07/05/2019 17:37

Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 780

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 19:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 422

You deserved it 2 775

By maximumpower - 15/03/2009 01:46 - United States

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when this small boy starts looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kids face look like that"? He said it so loud 3 tables next to us turned and looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 065

You deserved it 3 504

By ninja breakup? - 11/10/2018 14:00

Today, my boyfriend of six years came home wearing a ninja suit. When I asked why, he said "These are my breakup clothes. I'm breaking up with you." He then screamed, threw a plastic shuriken at me and ran away. It hit me in the breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 545

You deserved it 335

By semi-depressed - 14/02/2009 17:35 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 383

You deserved it 3 997

The Golden One

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 06:01

Today, I asked my parents if I could borrow one of their three cars for the second time this year. They said no, suggesting that maybe I should consider buying my own car. This would be fair, if it wasn't for my sister borrowing their cars several times a week, without any disapproval. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 99

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 15:00

Today, accustomed to dealing with my old car's faulty accelerator, I pressed the pedal way too hard in my new car and crashed into a pillar, totaling the engine and giving myself a concussion. I could still see the dealership down the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 485

You deserved it 4 118

By ilovecharliesheen - 17/03/2015 07:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 579

You deserved it 14 211

By lahiros - 30/05/2014 22:05 - Australia - Bentleigh East

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 469

You deserved it 7 509

By thesitter - 10/05/2009 13:18 - United States

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 255

You deserved it 8 135

By Anonymous - 12/01/2016 18:04 - United States - Newtown Square

Today, my girlfriend launched her own business. I was recently laid off from my job, so I offered to be her very first employee. I now have the glamorous job of bleaching people's assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 872

You deserved it 6 922

By Anonymous - 05/04/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 373

You deserved it 19 580

By Anonymous - 11/11/2015 12:18

Today, I woke up at 7, got to college by 7:40 to receive an email that my 8:00 a.m. class got cancelled. I stayed there until 12:00 p.m. for my second class, to then find out that the cancelled class was the one at 12:00, not 8:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 683

You deserved it 5 853

Bye bye clothes

By kmjlevesque - 03/06/2020 02:00

Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 575

You deserved it 274

By singleandthankful - 23/02/2013 23:18 - United Kingdom - Beaconsfield

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 033

You deserved it 4 818

Receptacle

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 02:01

Today, I felt sick at work and tried to run to the bathroom with my hand covering my mouth, but saw a garbage can and removed my hand to let it loose. I forgot to remove my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 183

By d0pey - 20/02/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I realized that there are more framed pictures of my mom's dog than pictures of me around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 818

You deserved it 3 430

By Karaoke Queen - 20/11/2018 12:00

Today, I went to a work event and was having my picture taken with a coworker. Since we had done karaoke together, someone said we should pose like we were singing. I held my hand up like I was holding a mic and opened my mouth. It looked like I was performing a sex act. My boss glared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 645

You deserved it 677

By jordanss - 11/11/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 085

You deserved it 3 442

By lonelyboy101 - 27/08/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 805

You deserved it 8 586

Marcel Duchamp would be proud

By Mxx - 12/03/2020 12:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was looking through an old box of personal artwork when I realised the entire box was damp. This was all my own art from the past 3 years, smudged and smelling of cat urine. I was supposed to showcase some of it in a competition winning gallery this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 341

By Anonymous - 27/06/2015 19:58

Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 402

You deserved it 4 829

By chris - 14/06/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 814

You deserved it 3 857

By titsmcgee - 11/02/2015 21:51 - United States - Oak Brook

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 115

You deserved it 7 034

By Anonymous - 09/12/2012 20:03 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 269

You deserved it 1 846

By too eager - 25/04/2016 15:21 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 926

You deserved it 2 940

By cheese - 26/09/2013 21:31 - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, I summoned the courage to talk to my friends about the money they owe me for my photography services at their wedding. We had agreed on a fair price, but now they're pissed, claiming that I'm being selfish and should consider it my wedding gift to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 305

You deserved it 5 449

By fatblooddonor - 26/02/2019 04:00

Today, I donated blood at a blood drive. As is the usual for blood drives, I was offered a shirt after donating. The worker handing out the shirts asked me for my size. I said that I was a medium. He looked me over, then asked, "Are you sure?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 050

You deserved it 315

By Anonymous - 13/09/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 394

You deserved it 42 353

I am what I am

By MimiFufu - 22/09/2019 16:00

Today, yet again I got delayed in airport security. One month ago, I thought it was a good idea to wear make-up when renewing my passport. It turns out I look nothing like myself without makeup. Hello shattered confidence and 5 years of needing to wear makeup for every flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 939

By Lesbihonest - 17/06/2015 13:31 - Australia - Gymea

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 487

You deserved it 3 687

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Top comments

LennyComa 39

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:03

What a nice considerate man he is. FYL

Amethyst888 14

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:03

Wow what an ass, good riddance! Sorry OP, but at least now you know he's not worth your time and you can move on to someone better.

LennyComa 39

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:03

What a nice considerate man he is. FYL

IsAbElLiCiA20 6

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:21

Wow, definitely FYL. Couldn't have even been man enough to tell you face to face or wait until you were at least home, off work, and away from people? Extremely rude. Celebrate that now useless anniversary with a girls night out and enjoy the single scene. Forget that scumbag, OP!

IsAbElLiCiA20 6

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:27

Wow, definitely FYL. Couldn't have even waited until you were at home, off work, away from people? Extremely rude. Celebrate that now useless anniversary with a girls night out and enjoy the single scene. Forget that scumbag, OP!

ydi_4_suking 20

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:33

Thats just the easy way out. You don't have to see anyone cry or anything. But shows a lack of balls on the guys part

Acidiic 7

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:43

It seems you're better off without him OP. if that's what he decides to do to break up, imagine what bs he could have done while together.

truth_spitta 0

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Monday 25 June 2012 13:27

18, as we all know, that is for sure easier said then done. Break ups always suck. Always.

mylifesucks_fml 1

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Monday 25 June 2012 14:28

just wait, he'll want you back the day after the anniversary. he just didn't want to have to buy you anything to celebrate it I bet!

Oreohugzpenny 4

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Monday 25 June 2012 15:47

He is a jackass

LolFMLnot 10

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Monday 25 June 2012 15:58

It's so easy for people to say "move on forget him blah blah" but it's not that easy. How can you forget all the good times you had? Break ups are awful, and takes time.

wannaplay 1

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Monday 25 June 2012 22:47

Most men do that, which caused our stereotype. I'm nice to everyone.

DynamicDave 11

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Tuesday 26 June 2012 14:50

Am I the only one wondering where OP works that she is allowed to read texts in the middle of a rush of customers?

Amethyst888 14

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:03

Wow what an ass, good riddance! Sorry OP, but at least now you know he's not worth your time and you can move on to someone better.

ant1078 7

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:51

Agreed, go out and have some fun, and hopefully time will heal all wounds. Show him you're the better person and that you don't need him in your life.

cheefer 0

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Wednesday 27 June 2012 5:49

Or...you could shoot him in the face with a paintball gun. Use frozen paint balls for additional fun!

astoryofroses 9

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:05

that's when you held it strong like a lady and showed him you didn't care... right? wait your username says otherwise nevermind

putloginhere 6

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Monday 25 June 2012 13:07

What a nice person you are...

SamanthaCassieL 10

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Monday 25 June 2012 13:31

Maybe it's her good-for-nothing ex boyfriend.

LucaCoffey 6

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:05

Awh I'm sorry to hear that OP I wouldn't wish that on anyone

youjustmademelol 4

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Monday 25 June 2012 20:53

Well then he wasn't a good person, he didn't deserve you.

fmlman287 0

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:05

Hey..it's his loss. F*** him! There's someone out there for you, and HE'S obviously not it

ChickInGreenVans 12

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Monday 25 June 2012 14:33

^.. You such an ass dude!!

THE_A_TEEN 27

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Monday 25 June 2012 17:17

I love how you would justify a breakup by the amount of times they had sex. By the way, there is no indication of how many times they had sex. Now quit being an Asshole.

dubstep12 8

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Monday 25 June 2012 17:39

Just because you fuck someone, doesn't mean they will stay together forever.. XD

Pentium_4 26

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:08

i'm sorry OP. but he is a spineless coward, and now he won't waste anymore of your time. Find a real man!

ChickInGreenVans 12

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:11

Sheesh!!

seasonedtoast 19

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Monday 25 June 2012 12:11

Should have faked a fainting spell and dropped to the ground in a dramatic swoon. Then went home and cried in the bath with a bottle of vodka. DICKFACE!!