Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my kid was on an app that makes fart noises. After too many minutes of this, I wrestled the phone away. He then went on to make real farts. Stinky ones. Then, had the inevitable shart, along with hysterical laughter. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, trying to make my 6 year-old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "Toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say, "Daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
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Top comments
Meettitan 14
I'm not sure what's more impressive, farting on command, or sharting on command.
YessyxD 8
Lol that's FUNNY! nice going dad
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Comments (116)
blueandpurpleroc 4
Model dad right there. ;D You have to admit, he's clever.
Ajwc101 24
Talk to your wife about it I'm sure she'll understand.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
What's there to talk about? Kids imitate things other people do, and in this case, his dad's joke. He just failed at it really bad.. XD
thatshot808 6
Kids, they are so impressionable
TheDrifter 24
Handy for road trips, teach him to go on command and you won't have to stop every hour.
amrani_fml 4
ahhhh kids :)
bkj92 5
Did anyone else catch that you're talking about YOUR son but then says he did it to his mother and blamed it on you? How can that be possible???
Jumpingmal2 7
I believe its cause the FATHER of the child wrote this FML.
saidoh_fml 26
Op is the father.
Calyx_fml 22
Have another bong rip. You'll get it.
HairyPunisher 27
26, I've read my share of downright idiotic comments but I must say, you exceeded my expectations with yours.
AbbyAbyss 5
60- Jacksfilms reference?
arsenicalhumor 30
#26 just wondering, did you read the beginning and the end of the FML, leave out the middle, and then instead read it again, just go straight to commenting?
emilymcmasters22 0
I'm sure you can explain it. I mean, it is your wife..
NIRVANA1990s 1
my dad does this to me all the time and I always fall for it
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Wow, you sound extremely gullible :
justin_noble 6
What is your next trick to teach him
what_ever2007 11
Wow lol...I'm adding this one to favorites!