Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my kid was on an app that makes fart noises. After too many minutes of this, I wrestled the phone away. He then went on to make real farts. Stinky ones. Then, had the inevitable shart, along with hysterical laughter. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, trying to make my 6 year-old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "Toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say, "Daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
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Top comments
Meettitan 14
I'm not sure what's more impressive, farting on command, or sharting on command.
YessyxD 8
Lol that's FUNNY! nice going dad
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Comments (116)
vbmg152 19
Your fault! My Dad (rest his soul) used to pull that trick! Every time, he'd say I'm not gonna do that, this is a different trick and I fell for it every time! I know I was a dumb kid! Anyway, YDI
djhitzz 0
Lmaoo!!!
hateevryone 15
Well what do you expect him to do? You did teach him that.
kirrra 11
op didn't teach his son to crap his pants. the aim was to fart. read the FML properly.
pfclunchbox005 1
Hahaha that's just do funny
shaybears4 0
That's hilarious xD
LordOfLincoln 6
Well done! Unfortunately you still deserved it. But never stop having a laugh with your son!
AKGirlinSD 20
Blaming the other parent is always a winning situation for the kid, no matter how young or old the kid is haha. At least you know your son is a quick thinker.
Jasonf6 0
If your son is that stupid i think he has a teamless hockey helmet wearing situation in his future.
kumar1995 4
fathers day is coming up lol
football98_fml 20
Damn dat shiz is funny, imma try on my friend