Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my kid was on an app that makes fart noises. After too many minutes of this, I wrestled the phone away. He then went on to make real farts. Stinky ones. Then, had the inevitable shart, along with hysterical laughter. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, trying to make my 6 year-old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "Toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say, "Daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
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Top comments
Meettitan 14
I'm not sure what's more impressive, farting on command, or sharting on command.
YessyxD 8
Lol that's FUNNY! nice going dad
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Comments (116)
Calyx_fml 22
An 8 year old crapped his pants?! Do they make diapers his size?
Petronix 5
Since when are diapers required to shit one's pants?
xNephilim 19
They also make diapers big enough for old folks.
zurch 1
That's funny!
TheIchiban 11
Parents these days...
ALpein 0
... are so amazing. You forgot to finish your sentence.
wlddog 14
#70 That was a reply win.
flashback.miss 28
LOL wonder what your wife did to you afterwards....
The_Thinker 18
Oh, she probably joined in the fun and used the same trick on OP. Just using his penis instead; an unforgettable lesson.
monkeygirl21 2
That is really funny. Maybe he'll teach his son to do that:P
olpally 33
hilarious and disgusting at the same time... lol
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
And she fell for it? Kid must be talented to crap on command...
brohamas16 7
What a neat trick!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Maybe he can try it at parties.
puppyzombie 5
Sweetest trick ever
twaumat 28
I hate people that do the stupid pull my finger thing.