Miscellaneous: Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own...

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 535

You deserved it 2 151

Miscellaneous

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Same thing different taste

By UncleMonkey - 06/03/2015 06:18 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 577

You deserved it 45 179

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 651

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 05:56 - United States

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 728

You deserved it 6 678

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 073

You deserved it 3 055

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 205

You deserved it 6 231

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 109

You deserved it 379

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 502

You deserved it 4 951

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 795

You deserved it 35 989

By Chris - 03/04/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 638

You deserved it 4 119

By fugachumi - 07/08/2011 08:08 - United States

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 827

You deserved it 3 510

Amateur_Dank 17

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:36

I would take the bitching just to watch someone farting their way into consciousness... these are the moments we live for

tygerarmy 35

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:35

Tell your dad to quit farting around.

Comments

MisterKnowItAll 15

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:34

He just doesn't want to think he's getting old.

1dvs_bstd 41

Sunday 9 August 2015 8:24

hmm, how's that relevant to his age, again? It can happen to anyone regardless of age or gender.

igive 29

Sunday 9 August 2015 10:31

It even happens to my dog.

Cads1 24

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:35

Why were you there to even see what happened? Unless you were screwing around that is.

cupcakebruh 21

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:45

He could have been in the living room taking his nap on the couch. I don't think my dad has ever taken a nap in his own bed..

tygerarmy 35

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:35

Tell your dad to quit farting around.

rnarshmallow 21

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:35

I'd record it next time.

Pacers13 11

Sunday 9 August 2015 21:30

Well she probably wasn't expecting him to do that.

Amateur_Dank 17

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:36

I would take the bitching just to watch someone farting their way into consciousness... these are the moments we live for

20bricks 28

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:37

Fart on him to prove dominance.

enginsteve 17

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:38

My dog does the same thing! lol

Greattitan2 13

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:39

I guess farts can be silent and deadly

katydid91 31

Sunday 9 August 2015 10:57

This particular fart was clearly not silent but was quite deadly.

ChristinePi 36

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:51

The bitching was his way of acknowledging that it was true and him being embarrassed about it. Sorry OP, your dad is just ashamed of himself that that happened.