Miscellaneous: Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own...

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 541

You deserved it 2 152

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Same thing different taste

By UncleMonkey - 06/03/2015 06:18 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 579

You deserved it 45 192

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 208

You deserved it 6 231

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 671

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 383

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 547

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 504

You deserved it 30 111

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 974

You deserved it 38 661

Vicious dog

By onefmlafteranother - 15/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 581

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 801

You deserved it 35 996

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 333

Amateur_Dank 17

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:36

I would take the bitching just to watch someone farting their way into consciousness... these are the moments we live for

tygerarmy 35

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:35

Tell your dad to quit farting around.

Comments

MisterKnowItAll 15

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:34

He just doesn't want to think he's getting old.

1dvs_bstd 41

Sunday 9 August 2015 8:24

hmm, how's that relevant to his age, again? It can happen to anyone regardless of age or gender.

igive 29

Sunday 9 August 2015 10:31

It even happens to my dog.

Cads1 24

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:35

Why were you there to even see what happened? Unless you were screwing around that is.

cupcakebruh 21

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:45

He could have been in the living room taking his nap on the couch. I don't think my dad has ever taken a nap in his own bed..

tygerarmy 35

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:35

Tell your dad to quit farting around.

rnarshmallow 21

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:35

I'd record it next time.

Pacers13 11

Sunday 9 August 2015 21:30

Well she probably wasn't expecting him to do that.

Amateur_Dank 17

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:36

I would take the bitching just to watch someone farting their way into consciousness... these are the moments we live for

20bricks 28

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:37

Fart on him to prove dominance.

enginsteve 17

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:38

My dog does the same thing! lol

Greattitan2 13

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:39

I guess farts can be silent and deadly

katydid91 31

Sunday 9 August 2015 10:57

This particular fart was clearly not silent but was quite deadly.

ChristinePi 36

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:51

The bitching was his way of acknowledging that it was true and him being embarrassed about it. Sorry OP, your dad is just ashamed of himself that that happened.