Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my kid was on an app that makes fart noises. After too many minutes of this, I wrestled the phone away. He then went on to make real farts. Stinky ones. Then, had the inevitable shart, along with hysterical laughter. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, trying to make my 6 year-old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "Toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say, "Daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
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Top comments
Meettitan 14
I'm not sure what's more impressive, farting on command, or sharting on command.
YessyxD 8
Lol that's FUNNY! nice going dad
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Comments (116)
Soloman212 28
The boy learns fast... (On a side note, you should have showed him your adult diapers to make sure he understood that the technique called for flatulence rather than ********.)
YessyxD 8
Lol that's FUNNY! nice going dad
Drigr 9
I can't tell if its my app freaking out of if there has been a large case of comment 1 disappearing.
Drigr 9
So what do you do? "Excuse me a sec while I do into another room and let out this fart"?
ALpein 0
Farting is still considered rude. But when I'm with my faily and friends, it's the funniest shit in the world. Or at least, we think so. haha
DusktheFMLKat 14
It doesn't say that the OP is a guy.
remy9474 7
In gonna waste the first comment. Penis penis dick suck
putloginhere 6
Its funny because you werent first
missalkali 8
I love I when someone's comment is that they're first and then they end up as the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th comment... it's like, haha nice going! now you really look like a dumbass!! YDI!! edit: the comment I commented on was deleted
PrimeEvilTahir 24
... Whatever happened to decency in parenting? If I ever farted in front of my parents I'd be given a lecture on decent and indecent behavior!
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#9 - You just look like a complete dumbass posting that, whether or not the comment were to be deleted. DUMBASS, YDI.
xcarxcrashx 9
Really 19? Farts were always pretty funny in my house. And now that I live with my boyfriend who acts 8 when it comes to farts they still are pretty funny in my house.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
22 - well every culture has its norms and style of parenting. In our society farting is considered very rude.
tmd4L 7
But having a lizard in your mouth and saying nom nom isn't?
mannykatany 9
That kid is an over achiever
bizarre_ftw 22
Actually that makes sense, where you're from (I'm going mostly on stereotypes here so if I screw this up don't be angry) some areas are a Lot more formal in their every day lives as well there is more emphasis put on respecting elders, around here we're more laid back and - though I like it this way - that doesn't mean our way is better (in this one instance it apparently smells less to respect your elders more /:)
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I'm pretty sure it's rude in all families, just that some family's find farts amusing or just don't care.
zuzupetalsYO 11
Never trust a fart lol with that being said, farts=amusing
eriksen 16
That's...GENIUS! I will use that!
SparkleyTurtle 4
Who gets to change the diaper? ;) haha
RedPillSucks 33
Unfortunately, since he's 8, there's likely no diapers, just shitty pants.
coldashell 23
12, the mon does. She pulled the finger.
ScaughtieHolden 11
Looks like 4 is taking a shit...
bwtchinheels 0
65- I was just gonna say that
MissMae93 23
65 - I was trying to figure out the expression. Thanks for the clarification ;)
Aliicat16 9
It's still pretty funny
blcksocks 19
It's definitely funny.. Just not pretty :)
whattod0 3
You look like MJ. No joke.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Haha! She kind of does XD
Awsumuzzie 12
Don't blame the boy, he's only 8. Maybe your fart sounded and smelled too much like the real deal.
Meettitan 14
I'm not sure what's more impressive, farting on command, or sharting on command.
TrueTriage 16
Just need to figure out the right command outside of the finger being pulled
onlychildFTW 34
Pooping on command is hard. I did something like the sons OP except I was sadly older. Haha. I did mean to fart and not poop my pants though.
xcarxcrashx 9
Totally OT 68 we have the same dishes!!
Soloman212 28
The kid learns fast. Although you should have showed him you adult diapers to make sure he understood that the technique called for flatulence rather than sh!tting.
Enslaved 38
Don't worry, he'll have years to perfect that joke. I'm surprised she fell for that trick. Time to clue her in what "pull my finger" means. She just got an extra bonus this time. :O
lonelyharts86 8
LMAO kids are great.