By Anonymous - 14/05/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 842
You deserved it 5 439

Same thing different taste

Top comments

you need to hump him so he understands who's in charge

Slowly add distance by sticking a prosthetic hand on an extendable pole.


you need to hump him so he understands who's in charge

MakeAScene 4

I heard doing that actually shows a dog that you're in charge and the dominant one. Weird..

ilOlAtYourfMlnUk 0

19- how can you not know what that is?! it's a type of dog btw

A Doberman is a doppleganger but from it's original language.

Doberman is the name of a show on the history channel about the fall of the nazi empire. They have got some great footage.

Doberman is a type of dog.. just google it next time.

yeah they're well known for being vicious guard dogs

1-- This is exactly why I hump my dog; only to show him who's in charge EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Will only work if OPs dick is bigger.

Ha, that dog just made you his bitch. Oh how the tables have turned

Frazier6567 0

I liked so hard at this...

I like so hard all the time...???

u never run from a dog who is showing aggressive behavior. that's a sure way to get yourself mauled!

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
forgettingsunday 0

you fail for using the XD face. please get off the internet.

Agreed. She doesn't know how to apply that word for its proper use.

oboewhore_xD 6

I'm pretty sure she just tried to comment something quick and pointless, so she could be first. Basically, she's as useless as those douche bags who yell "First!" In a way, the word still applies, but to herself for failing at commenting fast enough to be the first commenter.

I don't see why u all care so much it's just a comment

abceasyas123abc 12
abceasyas123abc 12

Sorry, that was meant to be in reply to #1

Punt the damn dog and make him your bitch.

staceysgenesis16 0

haha and whats the dog whisperer going to do?

iSitt 0

by continuing to pet him you are encouraging the growling

kingtz 6

Whisper sweet nothings into the dog's ear?

60 He is going to show him who is the pack leeeader.

staceysgenesis16 0

shave that dog bare. it's just awkward petting a naked dog.

Just keep petting and everything will be fine...

agreed! adorable! but how can he/she keep petting forever? she/he has to sleep and eat and walk around at least a little bit...:P

Stop petting the dog and run like hell!!

doglover100 28

Slowly add distance by sticking a prosthetic hand on an extendable pole.

NEVER stop! that's how people lose arms

cata020 3

so I'm guessing that while you wrote this fml you were petting the dog aswell amirite?

Riddles66 0

she could have done it form an iPod, it's not that hard.

Riddles66 0
MakeAScene 4

I was going to say push it or run away until you said Doberman. Keep petting OP.

SmallTownCutie 0

Most Doberman are extremely gentle dogs. There's a greater chance that a chihuahua or poodle will bite you than one of them. My dog is known to growl when you're playing with him, while his tail is wagging and he's smiling. Yes, it's possible for dogs to smile. Maybe that's what he was doing OP.

But the stereotype of them being vicious dogs is probably less accurate. They dock some dogs' tails (dobermans and rottweilers) because they have the reputation for being intimidating, but the dogs may actually be happy and friendly. Who would be intimidated by a guard dog that is wagging their tail? Sure, some are probably trained to be guard dogs, but docking the tail is the easier (though I have comments on how humane it is) way to produce an intimidating dog without the work. I can't say I've encountered many dobermans, but the ones I have met have all been goofy and gentle. My parents have dogs that will grumble if you stop petting them, I wonder if it's just the doberman's way of asking to be pet more and not an aggressive act.

67 - They dock the tails because the tails are so strong they will possibly break some things in your house, not to make the dog more intimidating. That said, I agree it's not exactly the most humane thing to do. Our Doberman's tail has been docked, but we left his ears alone. Our vet suggested it to make him look more 'ferocious' but we didn't want to make him go through that. They are huge suck-ups! Mine will sit with you for hours on end if he likes you; he gets very excited when someone new comes to the door (excited, as in more or less protective until he realizes it's someone he knows) and is very territorial. Apart from the last few things though, they're very sweet dogs.

MakeAScene 4

I'm not following that menacing stereotype about Dobermans. I agree they are misunderstood and pleasant dogs, but the fact that it's growling at OP just because OP stopped petting it makes me think the Doberman isn't well trained to not attack her.

Captain - Nope, as far as I know it's not illegal. I haven't seen an un-docked Doberman yet! Not anywhere near here, anyway. It may be illegal to crop their ears... I haven't seen any with cropped ears around here.

Im not sure how much it has to do with training. Dogs have their own mind and will do what they want. I got attacked by a rottie when a toddler just because the dog was jealous, YES, jealous of the attention my rottie gave me. The dog didn't like it so therefore it tried to get rid of the problem, which was 4 yr old me! Some dogs are just crazy!

flighted 1

LMAO thank you iiCaptain, they don't dock ANY dogs tail BECAUSE they're so strong and will break things hahahaha. They starting of docking started at the beginning of dog time. There are dog breeds because they needed different dogs to do different things. I have a jack Russell, typically they dock their tails because jack russells are go to ground dogs, they go under ground to get whatever it is you are hunting, and it is easier for the hunter to pull the dog out of a one way hole by the tail. A short, docked tail is safer than pulling a long one. Of course we didn't dock his tail cause no one in my family is a hunter and we don't use him to hunt lol. But yeah, dobies are sweet dogs. The only reason there are stereotypes against them is because they are alert dogs and were used in movies to portray evil (what was that movie? exorcism? with that kid Damian) or to portray a scary, menacing dog....they are sweethearts actually

flighted 1

123 I doubt the dog was jealous. There are actions in the dog world that humans think are meaningless actions that either intimidate the dog or mess with what in the dog's mind is the order of power. Whoever told you the dog was jealous has no idea about animal nature. Dogs are not humans.

I've found that the bigger the dog, the more sweet and babyish they are.