Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
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Top comments
smiller0789 3
*wonders how old OP is*
SirAwesome 0
Why the "including the guy I like" part? I mean, how is it bad that he knows you're a woman?
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Comments (269)
seb12992 0
#63 is correct, and YDI for thinking that response was witty.
Yojalata 0
WTF
mikew85 0
Well, regardless of you ability to reproduce, you're probably not an adult if you live at home. Either way, your dad sounds like an immature moron.
Mosswine 2
Wow....whoever has a dad that would do that...is unlucky. FYL.
sahara_fml 0
Either way, I'm pretty sure everyone you go to school with, even the boy you like, is probably aware that, since you are female, you have a period. Why is that so embarrassing?
i_luv_cheese 0
your dad is awesome.
LadyCianne 0
I'm with #126. I know what that's like. I hate being called a girl because it makes me feel like I'm five or something. A woman is like, 15/16 over, sure, but you can at least call someone over 11 a woman. Have you seen 12 year olds nowadays ? Seriously.
LadyCianne 0
Wait, no, correction "young woman." Same difference
DameGreyWulf 1
I am 18 and most definitely not a "woman," though I am bleeding every month. You're immature and need to get slapped silly a few times. I hate when little twats like you think you're so grown up because you have teh periudz or because you wear make up or have a boyfriend or etc etc etc... (Actual people I know dear sweet kittens they need to a **** punt). Your father is not immature, rather he is very clever for thinking that one up. I don't see at all how he was being immature.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
If you're embarrassed enough by that prank to consider posting it here, you aren't a woman. To me that's on par with being embarrassed that people know you wear underwear-- EVERYONE already knows, and it isn't a shameful subject (unless of course you're still in that stage where half your friends are still waiting to get it. And if that's the case, I can't even begin to address the problems with this picture.) Which is pretty much the point Dad was making, I think. And by the way, anyone with half an ounce of common sense would figure out someone hijacked your phone immediately when they read the text.