Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
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Top comments
smiller0789 3
*wonders how old OP is*
SirAwesome 0
Why the "including the guy I like" part? I mean, how is it bad that he knows you're a woman?
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Comments (269)
damnstopmessinup 0
I don't think you understand. when she sees all the people who got her text, they're now going to have a mental image in their heads of her bleeding. That's not what she wanted. Maybe this isn't a literal "you destroyed my life" situation, but it's definitely a FML.
Rainbowarrior_fml 0
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard anyone do. By your logic a girl who gets her period at the age of 11 is a woman. Also, helpful tip, don't tell guys when you have your period.
mr_mellow 0
"its not a super soaker" that made me laugh so hard
DankJemo 0
Simply because you have a biological function doesn't make you a "woman" you've got to act like an adult before you are one. With that said, I think I could teach your Dad a few things about being a respectful adult, what a child.
cricket14 0
see, thats when you get his credit card number, and order tonssssss of shit
humorizer 14
You deserve it for not realizing that you're a woman when you hit 18 regardless of what your body or maturity states. If you're not exactly 18 or older, you're still a girl. Is your birthday on July 28? Then if it's July 27, 11:59 pm, you're still a girl.
diet_otaku 0
period or not, you're a girl until you're 18, a young lady until you're 30, and a woman after that.
Necrophile_fml 0
Agreed, YDI for being immature.
bebygirl68 0
wat a douche
tinyding 0
Oh my god, everyone here is an idiot. The father stole her phone, and sent to everyone something personal without her permission. Anyone saying she deserves it is a ******* idiot.