Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
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Top comments
smiller0789 3
*wonders how old OP is*
SirAwesome 0
Why the "including the guy I like" part? I mean, how is it bad that he knows you're a woman?
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Comments (269)
michiness 0
The very way you phrased this "my immature dad" makes you immature. Doncha know it's the ones who insist they're so grown up that aren't?
djk 0
biologically you are a woman, maturity wise not so much... and yes to number 138
in_wonderland 1
this is just dumb
ASpocksky 0
Well isn't it obvious that any female would be having a period?
storyteller07 0
Papa Win!
CaptainPat 0
your dad's an immature dick. But unless your like 17 or older, then yeah, i would say that he can call you a girl, and not a woman
FFPianoDude 2
This is pretty stupid, or I just don't get it. Every girl in their teens or after has a period...
DingusLvl5 0
Man, that's gay. I agree with u sooo much. Fyl.
FMLgirlx3 0
everyone on here is a complete asshole. you ARE a woman once you get your period, because getting your period let's you know you are now mature enough to have a baby. GOOGLE IT. OP, you are 100% correct, and your dad is weird.
nar_rauko 0
Physically mature yes, but as others have said periods can come as early as age 9 and I seriously doubt there are many 9 year old girls emotionally and mentally mature enough to have a child. OP: Your dad's a jerk, but honestly one of the most immature things people tend to do is call others immature.