Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
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Top comments
smiller0789 3
*wonders how old OP is*
SirAwesome 0
Why the "including the guy I like" part? I mean, how is it bad that he knows you're a woman?
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Comments (269)
NuclearWinter 0
You sound like an annoying 14 year old. Your dad is a legend.
SoreThroat 0
Exactly. This is something my dad would do, except, I wouldn't consider it an FML I'm 18, all my friends would know about it anyway. I'm pretty blunt. o_o
idrivefast 0
having a period doesn't make you a woman, it makes you female. 94 in your name... assuming that is the year you were born, makes you 15. You have a lot of growing up to do before you're a "woman". You'll get used to parents trying to embarrass you at that age, it comes with maturing.
fml268 0
What a horrible thing for him to do :S Seriously, what an asshole. Technically it does make you a woman, but doesn't mean you are mentally
containsnosoy 0
That's some faulty logic you have there. It does suck the he sent it to your contacts, but it's not the end of the world. No one will care in a month.
stage5sin 0
No, technically it means she's started her cycle/s of menstruation. Congratulations to her, but that isn't "technically" what a "woman" is.
diano_banano 0
I lol at how the "mature" OP claims her father is immature. Grow up you dumb kid. I bet the argument was over you wanting to stay past bed time to watch some Hannah Montana crap. REAL women don't argue to prove they are one. You'll know you are a woman when you stop throwing the period card. You give the YDI a new meaning. You Dumb Idiot.
Edge578 0
You may be physically mature, but you sure as hell aren't mentally mature.
LinddseyyX33 0
ittttt wasn't even clever.
akkid17 0
maybe next time you won't back talk your dad. lol
laffinatu 0
Having a period doesn't automatically qualify you to be a woman, just female. Being a woman means you're mature and responsible. "Witty" also means clever and you're response to him was not clever or witty at all since it's a false statement. YDI for using a false statement as an argument. And yes, he's an ass for doing that.