Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
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Top comments
smiller0789 3
*wonders how old OP is*
SirAwesome 0
Why the "including the guy I like" part? I mean, how is it bad that he knows you're a woman?
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Comments (269)
Hockeylover87_71 0
why would you tell him that, I'm sure that was the last thing he wanted to know... ps. your dad is awesome
Shlizabeth 0
I'm 18 and still don't consider myself a "woman." And I've had my period since I was 10. So... YDI. You're an idiot. Your dad rocks. I hope your crush continues the forward.
Puolukka 4
I agree...she deserves it. :D I had my first period when I was 12, now I am 22 and MARRIED, yet I still constantly call myself and other females who are my age "girl"
pommeblossom 0
your dad is immature.
DQB 0
Who cares if the guy you like knows you have a period? Would you rather he thought you hadn't hit puberty yet?
spaceranger33 0
You've proven your immaturity by posting this story on FML
Mattfail 0
Dont talk back to your parent's. Just because you have your period doesn't make you a woman. Acting the way you were makes you an immanture little girl.
cactus_fml 0
Everyone saying she's immature for saying she get's her period, chill out. No, you're not magically a woman when you get your period, but I'm pretty sure she was just trying to point out to her father that she's not a baby, and if he hasn't noticed, she's growing up. P.S. #82, it doesn't "squirt out." It's not a super soaker.
raphsidy 1
Um... "bookworm94"... you wouldn't happen to play runescape would you...? Because I've seen that username before. And I've talked to her. And if you really are her... then you either lie and don't have 3 kids... so yeah. Small world. My runescape user is "xemnassaber" btw... so don't be shy... lol
Hellsno 0
That's what you get for being a smartass to your father. YDI
Escapist28 0
When you start to experience what happens to nearly all females, roughly around the age of twelve, then you get to join the "Whoopdeedoo, your body is taking care of things for you" club. Additionally, if you're young enough to think that menstruation is the big indication that you're a woman, then you're definitely too young to be considered one. It also pains me to read what you consider to be "wit." Your dad certainly knew how to handle this situation.