By Anonymous - 10/06/2015 16:13 - United States - Inez
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Just based on personal experience (I was 10 when sister born), manners issue aside for the moment, consider this: When you are 10 and have a newborn sibling, you effectively get to become a third parent/babysitter type with no say in the matter. You get to help with changing diapers, feeding, bathing... Then more babysitter roles when your in high school. So tbh it's a little rude on OP's part to not include him in the baby making decision process. Or had a kid sooner. Not like they will likely play together or grow up "together". That being said I love my sister and would never trade her in! She's great and knows exactly what I mean since our parents divorced and same thing happened to her lol
@logicnazi, I can completely understand where you're coming from. My sister and I also differ 10 years in age. After being an only child for so long, it was very difficult to adjust to having someone else take up all the attention. I also became a "third parent" and had to take on many of the parenting responsibilities. That said, I still don't think OP should have had to include the kid in the decision-making process. It is something between OP and their partner/spouse. Also, we don't know what the circumstances were. Maybe it wasn't a planned pregancy. Accidents do happen. Maybe OP was infertile. That's the reason why my sibling is 10 years younger than me. My mother couldn't have any more children, so she was just as surprised as the doctor when they found out she was pregnant. Things happen. Sometimes the situation doesn't allow you to just drag the older sibling into it.
128 & 234. I agree completely. Those are very good points to bring to the discussion. I was merely providing an alternative perspective for round table discussion. Like a share holders meeting. Sure the parents hold most of the stakes and decision making process, and ultimately the decision is theirs either way because they hold majority vote, but the other share holder(s) (child) should still be allowed to freely express his opinion. (And like I said earlier, manners discussion held aside/constant for arguments sake. Sense we all agree it was ill mannered)
No. If parents choose to have more than one child, they should be caring for the other child(ren), not putting the responsibility onto the oldest child. I had frequently watch over my sister as a kid. It was my job to keep her out of trouble and I always got the blame if she did something she shouldn't have. Unsurprisingly, I don't like her and having to be responsible for her until I left home is the very reason I am choosing to never having any kids of my own. I know some people like caring for children and that's great, but I am not one of those people. I am not going to spend nearly two more decades of my life being responsible for someone else's existence.
That boy needs to learn to keep his mouth closed instead. Children shouldn't talk like that (especially to their parents) at such a young age.
He's 10 he probably doesn't fully understand how bad what he said was. And in a few years he wont even mean it. Some kids have a hard time with the idea of sharing parents. So sorry for you though.
@95 I wasn't talking about him swearing. Yes he probably knows you're not supposed to swear at school or anywhere. I meant about the part where he said his mom should have kept her legs closed. That's just vile on so many levels, and he probably didn't understand that he was making a sexist/**** shaming statement.
That's completely unacceptable of him! I hope you had a very stern talk with him and punished him.
Pretty messed up that, at 10, he's already learnt to blame the woman when two people have sex. Why not tell the dad to keep it in his pants?
the post said 'my husband and I' which implies they were together when they told him. The fact is that he shouldn't have said anything like that, but if he did only say something to his mom then it is bad. He probably doesn't know it's sexists but it is. Just because kids are ignorant to what it really means doesn't mean they can be sexist, racist, or anything else.
Get a grip #186, not every feminist is a paranoid man hater. I agree with 10. It’s pretty disturbing that he **** shames his mom for getting pregnant when it was both his parents decision. There is big difference between an attention seeking tantrum and telling his mom to “keep her ******* legs closed”.
First of all, nobody said all feminists were man haters. I am a woman in support of equality. Secondly the child did not "**** shame" his mum - he lashed out at a parent. Just because that parent was female doesn't mean we need to break out the picket signs. The child just needs to learn respect and how to appropriately communicate emotions.
#192 > I wonder why you’re trying to put our comments on some feminist agenda although no one said here that they were feminist. I fail to see as well where anyone brought out the “pickets”. So far I only read comments advising to ground him and teach him to respect his parents better. Lashing out at his mom would be something like “I hate you, you ugly”! Telling her to keep her legs closed is something altogether different. He probably does not realize clearly how sexist and insulting that sounds but he definitely needs to be taught, among good manners, that someone’s sexuality is their own business and that pregnancy is both the father and mother’s responsibility. I’ve heard this type of comment actually uttered at single moms by much older people so it’s never too early to set the record straight.