Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML
Today, when I locked my newly repaired bike up, I carefully took the new rear light off it so that nobody could steal said light. Somebody stole my bike. At least I have a red light to play with. FML
Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML
Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML
Today, I woke up to a Swastika, "Go home" and "Trump2020" spray-painted on my car. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
supersmeg12345 10
Next time install A few guard dogs and a machete
BlueEyed1019 12
That sucks, sorry! I have a sign that says "property monitored by security cameras" even tho it isn't, and it seems to work!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
br0ccoli 15
Mount a camera high above the house. Attach the newly installed lights to a live wire. Watch replays and laugh. Repeat. Get a small dog. They bark more and let you know when it's time for the show.
hateevryone 15
Get a pit bull, i can guarantee they won't be in your yard again.
Torva_fml 16
My pit bull is just a lazy pussy. Thanks for the guarantee, I'd like my money back. :)
staymintyfresh 13
Sounds like you live in the ghetto
traze 7
What's wrong with living in the ghetto, I live in the ghetto.
Awsumuzzie 12
The best thing to do is to install a security camera to catch them. And as a safety precaution, Install a camera to record that camera so that one doesn't get stolen. And a camera recording that one, and a camera recording that one and so on and so forth... They'll never find them all in time!!!
keenflow 2
Handyman 101... Take it
ScarletBloom 14
Place a bear trap.
matty_4007 0
Guess they made a 'light' getaway...
Calyx_fml 22
Two words... land mines.
afuckedlife 4
The Dark Mark! This is no ordinary vandalism
Candice0687 0
Why didn't you just put up camera's instead so you could of seen who did it and showed the cops