Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML
Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
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Top comments
prvag23 0
That's almost sweet that his mom made breakfast...in a really, really weird and completely awkward way.
drunkgirlscout2 0
Hey, you did get FREE PANCAKES. Unless the pancakes were green and filled with laxatives, I would be happy
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Comments (302)
dickinabox 0
I fail to see the FML. You got sex and you got pancakes. And you made his mother proud (hopefully). It could be awkward for you, but I think the other stuff outweighs that.
btopishere 1
More like unFML !!
lexi_lu 0
That's ******* awesome, something my mom would do, she's like the mom from mean girls ahahaah. But seriously, I never have that kind of luck..when I was a junior in highschool I slept over a friends house who he assured me his parents were both at work by 7..as I walk out of his room to go to the bathroom to pee the piss I was holding in all night, there she is folding laundry..hahaha
smdrager 0
This is a FLML (F***ing love my life). You had sex and got free delicious pancakes!
truelyajerk 0
I love pancakes!
Endymion_fml 0
Why is this a '**** My Life' moment? You got pancakes!
mrcarmine 0
dude how is this an FML? you ******* got free pancakes. LMAO #36, RIGHT before me thinking the same thing. seriously. edit: and a bunch of other people, naturally
TerAki 0
1. Pancakes are awesome 2. Why are people slutty enough to sleep with someone they just met that night?
brodizzle 0
Today, I had sex with an awesome guy whose awesome mom made me pancakes. FML
LifeSux19 0
What a sweet mom...unless she put something in those pancakes