Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said, "Yeah, horizontally." FML
Today, I was walking home from the gym. I was thinking about how proud of myself I was for losing 34 pounds when someone yelled from a car window, "Look at that fat lump!" FML
Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML
Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML
Today, a cute guy complimented me on my legs. I, being the awkward person that I am, panicked and replied, "Thanks, I grew them myself." FML
Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 35
I wouldn't take a fence if I were you.
perdix 29
Sounds like a . . . *lowers sunglasses* sheddy situation.
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Comments (83)
Pleonasm 35
I wouldn't take a fence if I were you.
Contravene 10
I guess she was something to stair at.
Pleonasm 35
Yeah but she was feeling uncomfortable due to his lengthy gaze-bo
ALlamaOnFire 20
Pleonasm, you nailed it.
Pleonasm 35
*Sheds a tear*
Contravene 10
She should be happy he found her so riveting. Now she knows that she's not plane.
ZeroPath5 16
Sheds a tear, that was impressively clever pleonasm, best one yet haha
denbeste 3
No. His jokes never make me laugh. He tries too hard.
JJ_Rokk 10
Wow #65. Enjoy your Bitch Flakes this morning?
chrisp87 11
Nice pun.
chrisp87 11
Dang #65 just because you're mad at the world doesn't mean you got to take your piss poor attitude here.
gman90210 18
He just pissed he can't come up with any so as not to leave us board
VorpikeII 17
Hopefully he meant bodily. Either way, it's not too horrible a far as a compliment or insult goes.
Bakarra 22
Well the compliment "built" is often used for guys who are muscular so maybe he meant it in a similar way?
ShyAnn29 14
I'm thinking he meant her breasts are large
Wizzlbang 10
I've seen some pretty attractive well built women. As long as they don't push it to she-hulk levels, it looks pretty good, IMO.
Redoxx_fml 22
Well he didn't mean it offensively so I guess take is a compliment?
Redoxx_fml 22
It as* damn autocorrect
ilovedinosawers 17
OP is a woman. Well built is a term for men with large muscles.
ParadoxicalPea 8
Well built could totally just mean proportionate or something. Or maybe she has a huge rack/perfect ass?
MuseFan1991 14
at least he said 'well built' as opposed to 'built like a brick shithouse'. take it as a compliment!
VorpikeII 17
Or Built like a Igloo. Cold, Round and hard. P.s. Muse is definitely amazing. ^^^
crazytwinsmom 25
Or a shit brickhouse.
MuseFan1991 14
or built like eeyore's house. fall down every 10 minutes. and yes, yes they are :)
xeka 10
That's.. And insult..? o.o;
JazzHandsFML 28
and? and what else? WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME WHY AND!
6tori6 5
Manly Woman.
Mr_Que_Dijo23 5
Maybe he was talking about your butt but didn't want to sound like a pervert. But then again who knows...
perdix 29
Sounds like a . . . *lowers sunglasses* sheddy situation.
gc327072 30
Those jokes are so hated, not even you can get away with them.
perdix 29
#30, oh, I can. I anticipate that the highly intelligent readers will discern that I am satirizing the "shitty situation" cliche and register their appreciation.
gc327072 30
Well what the hell the vote count pretty much just inverted from when I first replied. I guess I 'dun goofed.
Shrike 23
Classic Perdix move. When a terrible comment falls flat, claim the humor is just too sophisticated for people's puny brains and that only smart people will get it. Instant thumbs up from stupid people. Of course, my own comment's satirical too. I'm not sure how or in what way, but the truly intelligent people will thumb me up. Am I doing it right? I wish /I/ had cheerleaders.
perdix 29
#46, yes, you learned well. I thumbed up your comment and I feel smarter ;)
gc327072 30
Shrike you don't have cheerleaders because you only come out to comment at noon on the second Saturday in August during an even numbered year. Who knows what'd happen if you commented more often.
Dracoboxer357 35
I'd assume he meant you're porportional and he admired your figure in more than just a sexual way, Op. :) Be flattered, people have said worse to others without meaning to be offensive. ;)
perdix 29
#18, do they really hate it, or do they just say they hate it? Would you prefer that we tell you that you have a terrible ass? Or even better, after spending hours finding the pants or dress that best highlights your ass, would you like us to say, "Hey, I didn't even notice you had an ass?"
emeraldisle 30
18 - not all girls darling. I love when I'm complimented on my arse, whether it's a guy or girl.
challan 19
32- I agree. I don't pretend to hate it. It puts an extra jiggle in my wiggle.
perdix 29
#48, if you dress so the boyfriend notices certain ass-ets, ALL male humans will notice them, too. We're programmed that way.
mackdeezy 22
I'd be more mad the mother won't stop laughing. But just let the Guy's comments fly by.