Weddings

Nervous?

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 14:16 - Denmark - Nørresundby

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 747

You deserved it 5 137

What's up with your nose?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother and his girlfriend got married. I got a pretty bad pimple on my nose not long before, and I'd tried to pop it. It turned into a really bad scab instead, so I put makeup on it. I didn't notice until after the wedding that the makeup made the scab look badly infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 200

The worst

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 07:04 - United States - Bellingham

Today, I was buried in texts from two of my bridesmaids about how much they hated their dresses. Dresses they helped pick. I can either be a bridezilla, put up with this for 4 more months, or ruin two friendships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 795

You deserved it 1 199

My life is a romcom

By Lucky girl - 23/08/2023 04:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. Everyone cheered, until I slipped on the flowers and fell flat on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 126

Best day of your life

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 00:01

Today, I don’t usually ask much from my dad because I know how incapable he is but after two years delaying my wedding due to Covid restrictions, I thought I could at least ask him to stay sober long enough to walk me down the aisle. More fool me I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 139

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

By Anonymous - 23/02/2021 10:58

Today, I had to cancel a plane ticket to a friend's wedding, because first he gave me the wrong date, after which his fiancée cut me from the guests because of Covid safety. Instead of paying $600 to be in the ceremony, I'm paying $400 to not go anywhere because the ticket could only be partially refunded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 110

Best day of your life

By Cellist - 14/12/2022 15:00

Today, it's the wedding of a two friends that I introduced each other to about a year ago. I'll be enjoying it on my couch. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 122

Vegas…

By Anonymous - 12/05/2018 01:30

Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 329

You deserved it 4 893

Winner

By Anonymous - 09/01/2020 20:00

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 1 035

Inspired

By HateThatB - 18/11/2021 23:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my ex-fiancé married the woman he cheated on me with. Their wedding was an exact replica of how I had planned mine to be, decorations, colors, cake, etc. Oh, and she also copied the dress I'd said yes to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 147

Alexa, play "Ancient History" by The Cribs

By Freddie - 28/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was the best man at my longtime friend’s wedding. I got so into talking about our shared memories over the years that I accidentally called his bride by his ex-girlfriend’s name at the end of my toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 579

No means no

By Anonymous - 22/08/2023 10:00

Today, it seems my mom didn’t believe me when I told her multiple times I was not going to my nasty bitch sister's wedding. Then she acted surprised and outraged when, shocker, I didn’t go, and has been leaving me texts and voicemails for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 110

Life imitates art

By PinchMe - 29/04/2023 03:00

Today, my wedding day was ruined by my fiancé’s psychotic ex. It started out with the venue and my dress getting pelted by paintballs and one of her friends riding an ATV around, running over my fiancé. He's currently in the hospital with broken ribs and a concussion. $42,000 down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 133

Don't tell Hbomberguy!

By Bad speech - 06/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was asked to give a toast at my cousin’s wedding. Nervous, I copied a speech template I found online. Halfway through, the groom’s father interrupted me to say, “I read that exact speech on Pinterest.” I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 575

Highlight of the wedding

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 22:00

Today, despite his promise not to, my dad got completely shitfaced at my wedding reception. When we found him, he was passed out on the toilet with his pants down, penis out, and he’d shit all over himself, the toilet, and the floor. I thought I could trust him just this once, but now he’s dead to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 203

Sailing close the wind

By FvckMenSmh - 25/07/2022 14:00

Today, what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, my wedding day, turned into the day in hell. A friend caught my now ex kissing his friend outside. The girl he told me was “just a friend and nothing more” whenever I suspected there was indeed nothing more. Now I've found out in the worst way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 108

Congratulations!

By single - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Hurricane

Today, my ex-boyfriend got married to the girl he told me was his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 472

You deserved it 3 163

Monster madness

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son and his girlfriend cancelled their wedding and eloped because they were sick of my ex-wife being a Monster-in-law. The last straw was when she called the dress shop and tried to cancel the wedding dress because it “made her look like a slut.” Now I missed seeing my son get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 178

Honesty

By bridezilla - 31/12/2014 07:47 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, "No way" or "It looks great on you", I accidentally said, "Yeah, I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 482

You deserved it 35 444

Besties for life

By no cake for me - 07/11/2012 07:31 - United States - Jackson Heights

Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 868

You deserved it 26 086

Unreasonable

By Crazy Crazy Crazy - 13/09/2013 00:01 - Canada - Burlington

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 282

You deserved it 8 008

Bridezilla

By NotBridezilla - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, after waiting 3 months until my friend's wedding was done being celebrated, I announced my engagement. My newlywed friend bitched me out for "stealing" all of the attention and being selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 459

You deserved it 900

Slap in the face

By deadmedia - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 537

You deserved it 3 943

Wedding from Wish

By not that cheap - 15/05/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, my fiancé told me to quit my bitching and to just order a wedding dress off Wish. I'm willing to get an inexpensive dress and in fact I hate designer labels altogether. However, I draw the line at the cheap, poorly made crap from that site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 242

Stylish

By Anonymous - 10/05/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom - Yate

Today, I went to a friend's wedding, only to realize I'd forgotten my dress shoes. I ended up wearing my pair of Converse Chuck Taylor's with my suit and stood out like a sore thumb in all the wedding photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 701

Playing the long game

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 11:01 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, after 9 years of loveless marriage, my wife confided in me that she was always an introvert and depressed person, but pretended to be outgoing and fun loving with me up until our marriage, so she could marry me just to lift herself up from low class to high class society. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 135

Buddy Rich is not dead

By DrumrollPlease - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, my father informed me that he plans to play a drum solo instead of making a speech at my wedding. And yes, he IS completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 730

You deserved it 2 170

Romantic gestures

By Anonymous - 11/06/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 181

You deserved it 4 490

This is going to be great!

By Anonymous - 29/04/2022 04:00 - United States - Morristown

Today, after we got married five months ago, my wife and I planned a trip to France and Spain as a honeymoon. We’re supposed to be leaving on Saturday. She just told me last night, “I am so not looking forward to the trip.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 131

Covid 19 ain't going anywhere

By Anonymous - 10/07/2020 23:01

Today, my fiancé and I decided to just have a small wedding and have a big reception later, out of concern for everyone’s health and safety. My mother won’t stop asking us, “What’s the point now?” I thought our marriage was the point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 171

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 109

You deserved it 8 432

Today, I was intimate with my girlfriend for the first time, after watching an episode of Jimmy Neutron. I got so excited that I came in less than 20 seconds and yelled, "Brain blast!" as I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 674

Today, I was digging the foundation for what will eventually be my garage. My kids wanted to help Daddy, which means they had a front row seat with their little spades when we unearthed the skeleton of some previous homeowner's dog. Now they won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 72

Today, I got a new kitten. He's orange, and definitely fits the stereotypes. I've already had to stop him from killing himself or otherwise getting into dangerous areas four times. I can't leave him alone for more than five seconds. Please tell me this is not a sign of the times to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 312

Today, I rented a car that has a smart key. The proximity of the key determines if the doors will unlock. I went to a meeting and returned to the car with the trunk popped open and all my luggage gone. The rental company decided to store a spare key in the glovebox for safekeeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 071

You deserved it 3 290

Today, my car ran out of battery. I'm writing this from the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 650