Weddings

Thanks for that

By bride2be - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 524

You deserved it 3 498

Stylish

By Anonymous - 10/05/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom - Yate

Today, I went to a friend's wedding, only to realize I'd forgotten my dress shoes. I ended up wearing my pair of Converse Chuck Taylor's with my suit and stood out like a sore thumb in all the wedding photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 703

Mommy's boy

By HellFuckingNo! - 05/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, while wedding planning, my future MIL complained that the archway was too small for three people. Seeing my confused look, she explained, “Didn’t he tell you? I’m going to be at the altar with you two during the entire ceremony!” He even bought her a ring so she doesn’t feel “left out”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 183

ATM FML

By ATMDad - 05/05/2023 00:00

Today, my stepdaughter wants her biological father, a man who abandoned her as a child, drinks to the point of puking and acting violent, and hasn’t held a real job in years to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. I feel like an ATM at this point because I paid for 80% of her wedding expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 203

Moved on

By Steppingstone - 03/05/2023 15:00

Today, I saw on Facebook that my ex of 6 years got married a few days ago. We broke up a year and a half ago because we had different plans; I wanted marriage and kids, and he wanted to “enjoy life and have fun.” Guess I’m not good enough to “enjoy life and have fun” with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 251

Grudge

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 10:00

Today, my grandmother informed me that I was rude to her at my wedding two months ago, all because she couldn’t sit at the bridal table, even though she "paid for the wedding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 879

Life imitates art

By PinchMe - 29/04/2023 03:00

Today, my wedding day was ruined by my fiancé’s psychotic ex. It started out with the venue and my dress getting pelted by paintballs and one of her friends riding an ATV around, running over my fiancé. He's currently in the hospital with broken ribs and a concussion. $42,000 down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 135

I now pronounce you…

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 10:00

Today, while registering to get married, my fiancé and I discovered that we’re already married and have been since our first foreign holiday together, to Vegas, when we got very drunk. Elvis was there. See where I’m going with this? Our parents are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 1 064

Long time coming

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 13:00

Today, it's been 14 years since at our wedding my now-husband lost the wedding ring, and we had to rush to buy another, which delayed the wedding and cost us our honeymoon flight and thousands of extra pounds. I just got his old suit out to dry clean. The missing ring was in its box, in his jacket. I'm going to kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 270

Congratulations!

By single - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Hurricane

Today, my ex-boyfriend got married to the girl he told me was his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 474

You deserved it 3 164

We meet again

By not again - 08/04/2023 10:00 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was supposed to have my bridal shower, an experience I’ve looked forward to since I was a little girl. Yesterday I tested positive for Covid, for the third time in three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 239

The wedding from hell

By Anonymous - 04/04/2023 14:00

Today, I embarrassed myself and my husband at the wedding of one of his rich cousins by trying caviar for the first time, finding it unbearably disgusting, choking, spitting it out all over the table, and downing three glasses of water to stop myself coughing. Now they think I’m common as muck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 941

Oh bless, sweet summer child

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 14:00

Today, my sister-in-law and I discussed what men like our husbands do at a bachelor party. I thought of beer, sports, and a strip club. Her version included church, wrestling (she believes they're former high school athletes), and sleeping together in the den (they’re 28 and in his own home). She was offended by my answers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 149

Rocket man

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 04:00

Today, I attended my wife's cousins wedding. While trying to help struggling teens with fireworks, I got shot in the eye by a commercial-grade firework. I spent the rest of the night in the ER, then headed to see the eye doctor. I have about 75% of loss of vision. Hopefully it's not permanent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 270

Probably for the best

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 22:00

Today, my boss informed me that I'll have to work all weekend to finish a project that's due on Monday. This wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that my ex-girlfriend is getting married on Saturday, and I was supposed to be in the wedding party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 297

Feeling betrayed

By Dayanna - 19/03/2023 00:00

Today, my best friend refuses to attend my wedding, all because I’m marrying her ex. He left her for me but didn’t cheat. We just fell in love and he had the decency to leave the relationship before starting to date me. She refuses to understand that no matter how hard I try to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 5 049

Social situations make me nervous

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 12:00

Today, someone handed me a drink at a wedding, so I awkwardly took a sip and commented on the taste. It turns out they were just trying to “Cheers!” me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 260

I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it!

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 15:00

Today, I was at a wedding and caught the bouquet. As I was leaving the reception, I slipped on the dance floor and landed on my back, knocking the wind out of me. Everyone thought that I had caught the bouquet, and had fainted from the excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 137

Kinda sus

By Forgotten fiancee - 16/02/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I realized that my fiancé is more invested in getting his lingerie and tattoo-clad friend on the cover of Inked Magazine than help plan our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 204

Threatening

By I hate my family - 11/02/2023 10:00

Today, my mom told me to be my sister’s maid of honor at her wedding or I’m out of her will. She says if I don’t go, I’m being selfish, and she wants to see her “baby girls” bonding one last time before she dies. I would gladly go if my sister wasn’t marrying my ex-husband, who cheated on me with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 130

All the Pringle ladies

By looks over personality I guess - 05/02/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, my mean, nasty, arrogant, bully of a sister is getting married for the second time. Meanwhile, I’ve always been kind, caring, considerate… and single as a damn Pringle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 242

Wedding shaming

By soccerbooty - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend started to plan our wedding. He included a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 492

You deserved it 8 301

Best day of your life

By Cellist - 14/12/2022 15:00

Today, it's the wedding of a two friends that I introduced each other to about a year ago. I'll be enjoying it on my couch. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 122

It's not me, it's you

By LoserSingleDude - 09/11/2022 12:00

Today, I found out about of my ex, who I was with for 6 years, getting married. Normally I wouldn’t care, except she rejected my marriage proposal just about a year ago, saying she wanted to “be single for a while and wasn’t ready.” I can’t help but think what does the other dude have that I don’t have that made her change her mind? FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 174

Jilting John

By Loveless - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248 994

You deserved it 15 498

Highlight of the wedding

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 22:00

Today, despite his promise not to, my dad got completely shitfaced at my wedding reception. When we found him, he was passed out on the toilet with his pants down, penis out, and he’d shit all over himself, the toilet, and the floor. I thought I could trust him just this once, but now he’s dead to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 204

Illegal and stupid

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 12:00

Today, it was my stag do. One minute I was at the pub buying a drink, the rest was a blur until I woke up completely naked in an ambulance, with all my friends standing over me. They'd put sleeping pills in my drink and hired an ambulance. It was my stag do prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 197

All you need is love

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 00:00

Today, one of my sisters is getting married to the guy who bullied me so badly in high school I attempted suicide twice. She insists he’s changed, like I’m supposed to give a fuck. Every time he comes in the house, I want to either run and hide, or stab him in the face and cut off his balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 194

Couch fights!

By Butters - 24/09/2022 10:00 - Australia - Lathlain

Today, it's my wedding day. I broke a toe on the couch while turning on the lights in the hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 129

You must conform

By Anonymous - 18/09/2022 13:00

Today, my bestie had me kicked out of her wedding the day of. All because I altered my bridesmaid's dress without telling her. She knows I hate fabric against my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 2 355

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The Top

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 492

You deserved it 106 863

Today, I asked my family not to disturb me while I slept, as I had hit over 72 hours of insomnia. My family must have heard me say, “Come in every 20 minutes and wake me up with whatever banal shit you can think of.” I gave up when my mother-in-law decided to enter my room and start vacuuming the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 120

Today, I'm on my sixth straight day of double shifts, with four more to go. I make overtime so I'm not complaining, but today my wife texted me, "Going out of town tonight, I expect the house to be spotless when I return." Not sure how I'm going to swing this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 130

Today, I taught a kid piano for a two hour lesson. The mom left to do some errands, and by the time two hours was up, she texted me asking to watch the kid for another "15 minutes" while she returned home. No problem, she had the money too, so I stayed. Four hours later, she showed up, and refused to pay me extra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 130

Today, I thought I could try and fix the broken door handle on my bedroom door. After a series of unsuccessful attempts, I got stuck inside my room. The only person who knew? My roommate, who was too busy playing loud video games to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 157

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 466