By SBCR - 07/12/2012 06:01 - United States - Ankeny
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That truly sucks. Go and be polite, but don't invite her when you get married.
Or just don't go. If she's that superfluous, then OP shouldn't go. Getting married is no reason to be a bitch. OP, take solace in the fact that your friend is probably getting married because her fiance is rich and/or has a hot body, which means the marriage will probably only last 3 years anyways.
96: If she's talking about OP then superfluous does work; she could be saying that if OP is superfluous to the wedding party in the eyes of her 'best friend' then she may as well not go. How many final papers you have finished is irrelevant, I just handed in my dissertation for my PHD in Education and Language Studies, but that doesn't make me right.
#158: For starters i'm 22, 23 in 2 weeks. And Yeah. I went to university in England when I was 18, where I studied English Literature in a condensed 2 year course at the University of Buckingham, when I was 20 I spent another year at Buckingham obtaining my PGCE in a year-long course, and I then transferred to U-dub to start my doctorate in education. But you're right, technically i'm not doing my PhD, i'm doing my EdD, apologies.
Sorry OP that sucks, but at least you can enjoy the bachelorette party!
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With all due respect, the wedding is not about you. It's about her. If she wants her bridal party to look a certain way, that's HER choice, not yours. When you get married, you can plan it however you want. But this is her day. Don't create drama to make it about you. Now let the onslaught of thumbs down commence.
Regardless, the friend didn't have to be a bitch about it. And as a general rule, the "best friend" should let her "best friend" into the party. I'm gonna be the best man at my best friend's wedding. I would be pretty pissed if he told someone else to be best man because I didn't look like a best man.
It is, but come on doc... You have to admit that's not what best friends do. My best man is coming to my wedding as if he was my own brother, I want him to be there because I want him to share the best day of my life with me like best friends do. Even if he comes to my wedding with hobo clothes ill be happy because he is there. You can't blame her for feeling bad if her " best friend" excluded her for how she looks. Sorry, I hate it when friends do things like this to eachother.
We are not judging her on the fact that it is her wedding. We are judging her on the fact that she seems to vapid enough to value appearance over something more substantial, like her relationship with her best friend and that friend's feelings. Evidently, she is all about appearances but the picture I'm getting just makes her look ugly.
It may be her day but you can't tell people they can't be bridesmaids because of how they look! You can ask them to wear the same clothes for your special day but that is not fair if you want to exclude people because of how they look naturally - and you want everyone to make you look good by putting them down!
Right, and this is EXACTLY why I expected the thumbs down. You're all thinking very selfishly about this - "How could she not invite her to the wedding? I'd be really upset if my best friend didn't invite me!" YOU would be upset? It isn't about you! Besides, I think you're all forgetting that "best friend" is a relative term. The woman OP considers to be her best friend may consider her just a friend.
I have to agree with Doc here. It's not like the bride banned her from the wedding for 'making her look bad', she just can't be a bridesmaid. OP's behaving as if she said "You're fucking fat and ugly and would ruin my wedding." Besides, you don't push the idea on the soon-to-be newly weds. If they want you to be the bridesmaid/best man, THEY'LL approach YOU.
Doc, I think the negative reactions are mostly from the reasoning behind the choice, not the right of the bridezilla to make the choice. From the FML it seems as though OP was discarded for very shallow reasons, when the bride could have told her another reason that would have accomplished the same purpose without upsetting her supposed best friend.
jessenya - Or maybe it was a bet that he and his best friend made when they were 8 that they would be each others' best man, and maybe you don't have a fucking clue about my relationship with my brother, which happens to be very close. Piss off. Nnnope - Yes, I think it's clear that's what I'm saying. I'd be willing to bet you've never been married.
Well, I think that the FML poster took it too harshly. Beside, we don't have much information. First and foremost, it's not because someone is your best friend that you also are his/her bestfriend. She may want her own best friend in. In most case, they will want all of their bridesmaid to wear the same outfit. If all of her best friends are built around a specific type, either much fatter than she is, or either much slimmer than she is, it's definitely her friends choice to chose to have an outfit that match those girls. Finally, she's not been mean in providing the information, and perhaps if they are good friends she though she would be understanding and that has nothing to do against being a friend or not.
I've seen bridal parties where all the woman who wore the same dress were a similar height & thickness particularly for a dance so it would look uniform. Maybe that is what OP's friend wants. It is not bitchy, it's just what the bride wants. OP shouldn't be offended because she doesn't look like them. It's not like her friend called her fat. You being invited to the one of the wedding events should make you happy because there is a limit on who can be invited & family is usually first priority then friends. I'm using the word friend lightly because like Doc said, it's relative. I have a couple dozen of acquaintances who identify me as a friend who never talk to me. No, they are all my party friends (acquaintances). My real friends talk to me regularly. Maybe OP should re-evaluate what her "friend" is, the relationship & everything. Word of advice to OP: Don't take anything so harshly, take it with a grain of salt.
At first I was on OP's side, but Doc has a point, as always. I would have gone about it a bit differently, but it's the brides choice. And that's that. Besides, we don't know the true relationship of their friendship. Maybe the bride sees OP as just a friend. It sucks, yes, but that's the way it goes.
Oookay! Everyone is blowing this out of proportion ! People are initialed to their own opinions doesn't make them wrong it's just how they think so everyone. Take a deep breath and relax. There is no reason to question anyone's opinion or relationship with brothers or other family members. OP can be upset but it is the brides choice. Opinions are like assholes everyone got one
It's her day but u don't leave your best friend out of the wedding party over superficial nonsense that's hurtful it's a very careless and a bridezilla decision. Not to mention its an important day but it's just one day by the time your done its about10 hrs is 10 hrs worth hurting ur friend like that?
The bride to be have the right to decide who will be in the bridal party or not, but her best-friend who is exclude from the bridal party have the right to feel upset if she feels like it. And come on, if the bride had excluded her best friend because she was black or whatever and she wanted a white only bridal party would that be ok? Of course that would be her choice and decision to make, it doesn't means that this right. In my opinion, marriage should be about more than perfect wedding pictures, but I guess each its own.
Also what with "the wedding is about HER"? Historically, it was never about "her". And today it is, nor it should, sill not be about her only. It is about him too, and their family, their friends and their community. Marriage is a legal and a social act, not just the Me-me-me-day for all those girls that had been convinced they needed to be treated as queens and deserved to be a star someday. Please, for our sanity, stop feeding Bridezillas. Or just enough to keep the show alive maybe.
Doc, I understand what your saying. I do agree that some people act very selfishly and only think about themselves instead if thinking about the ones who are actually getting married. I just think that op's friend could have simply said that she didn't want her in the bridal party. It was wrong of her to basically say that her body type did not fit in with the rest of the girls.
That's not the point doc... A bride can have her wedding how ever she wants it. Yeah it's her wedding, I get it. Still, how are you going to exclude someone because of how they look? You've been friends with that person for a while. You know how they look like and you accepted them as friends but now you won't? Even if she didn't want her to be a bridesmaid, she could have given her other reasons.. That was very rude of her regardless of what day it was. I don't care what day it is, you don't have the right to be a bitch. What happened with your brother was way different. You can't compare the two. His reasons were more reasonable and you probably knew before hand too. In this case it's just a bitch move doc.. I'm sorry but this time you are wrong.
I think the bigger problem here is that that the OP's friend not only wants to omit the OP from the wedding based on her looks, but also that she TOLD the OP that was her reasoning. Why not just say "sorry, I have other bridesmaids picked out" or "I want it to be a close family-member thing." There was no need to make the OP feel like she isn't "good enough" to be seen near the bride and bridesmaids. Yes, it's the bride's right to make that decision. But that doesn't mean it isn't a shitty, cruel decision. If the bride really IS the OP's best friend (and vice-versa) let's only hope that she looks back on her wedding photos and realizes how much of a cruel bitch she was to care about the looks of her bridesmaids over wanting to spend one of her happiest days with her closest friends.
At least you get to go to the bachelorette party and see male strippers and wieners flying everywhere.....I guess.