Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML
Today, I was at a wedding, and during the bouquet toss, I stood back and let the single ladies have their moment. The bouquet flew straight at me, hit me in the face, and I instinctively grabbed it. Now everyone thinks I’m desperate to get married. FML
Today, I slipped and fell in mud while running from the car to inside to avoid getting wet in a torrential downpour. I was running from the limo, in my wedding dress, to the church for my wedding. FML
Today, I spent an hour preparing a heartfelt speech for my friend’s wedding. I stood up, got emotional, and promptly fainted, spilling a glass of wine all over myself. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s wedding, and when it came time to make a toast, I tried to stand up to make a speech. My suit jacket got caught on the chair, and I ended up falling flat on my back. The speech was drowned out by everyone laughing. FML
Today, my dad gave a speech at my wedding. It started with, “Forty years ago, there was a tree…” and continued in the same vein about his work as a biologist. I might have been mentioned in passing. My new wife was not. FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding and was seated at a table with a bunch of strangers. To break the ice, I told a funny story about my dog. Turns out one of the guests is an animal behaviorist and spent the next hour explaining how I’ve been raising him all wrong. Thanks for the unsolicited advice during cocktail hour. FML
Today, I realized my cousin is an asshole. A cousin that I was close to who got engaged. I was excited to be part of her wedding day, since she was a big part of mine. Months later, on Instagram, she was sharing reels from her bachelorette party. When I asked her why she didn't invite me, she said she forgot. FML
Today, my son was talking about his upcoming wedding like it’s a disease he got diagnosed with, like, “Yeah, I got this wedding thing” or “Man, it’s gonna be hard to get through” and my favourite “A pain in the ass, I wouldn’t with this shit on anyone.” I feel so sorry for his fiancé, poor girl. FML
Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML
Today, despite my warnings, my only son married a girl I hate. To protest their marriage, I wore a white dress to the wedding. Her maid of honor "tripped" and spilled red wine all over me. FML
Today, I was the best man at my longtime friend’s wedding. I got so into talking about our shared memories over the years that I accidentally called his bride by his ex-girlfriend’s name at the end of my toast. FML
Today, I went to my (now ex) boyfriend’s step-uncle’s wedding. He got absolutely wasted and kept talking about marrying me in front of his mom and step-dad, but was listing off who he would and wouldn’t invite, all in front of the people he wouldn’t invite. FML
Today, I was working as a caterer at a wedding when I congratulated the bride’s mom, saying, "You must be so proud of your daughter!" She responded, "I’m the bride." FML
Today, my boss tried to cancel my leave because he’s “taking a mental health break next week and really needs me in the office.” I’m getting married next week and going on a two-week, non-refundable honeymoon, but he needs a mental health break. I had to get HR involved. Snowflake lazy prick. FML
Today, my fiance called off our engagement, all because I let myself go due to comfort eating and depression since my mother passed and I got fired from work. He told me to lose 60 pounds or he “won’t consummate the marriage with my lard ass.” Our wedding and honeymoon were less than a month away. FML
Today, at our wedding, my groomsmen had a lightsaber fight on the dance floor. Everyone was laughing and the kids loved it. My wife burst into tears, started screaming that we ruined her fairytale wedding, and stormed out. Our entire relationship started when we met at the cinema when Star Wars was on. FML
Today, while planning for my wedding, I can’t stop thinking about my ex. He is my "one", and it’s still so hard to move on. Now I’m marrying someone for stability for my kids, not love, and it is the worst feeling. My heart will forever be in Harrisonville Missouri. He deserves the world, not Texas rain. FML
Today, my son was so hungover at his wedding that he fell asleep standing at the altar and fell over onto his pregnant wife, knocking her backwards onto the floor. What should have been a happy occasion turned into a farce as we rushed her to hospital to check the baby was OK. FML
Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML
Today, I practiced my wedding vows in front of the mirror we have in the hallway. When I was done, I heard clapping from my living room. Turns out my fiancé’s parents had come over early for dinner and had heard everything. FML
Today, I went to set up for the first time the wedding tent we'd purchased, two days before the wedding, to discover one of the seven boxes was a pink light up Christmas tree and not the tent's canopy. Thanks Bed Bath & Beyond. FML
Today, I found out that my fiancé's sister, who only got engaged a couple of months ago, is getting married before us. I wouldn't have a problem with this if she wasn't planning her wedding to be exactly like ours will be. FML
Today, I was supposed to get married to the love of my life. My ex-wife ended up crashing my wedding and created drama. My now-ex-fiancée decided she wants nothing to do with me anymore, and that, "if she wanted baggage, she’d go to an airport.” She walked out of the wedding and blocked my number. FML
Today, my friend, who is gay, announced that he's getting married. I implored him to not invite my parents and (especially) my grandma, for reasons that I'm sure you can figure out, but he did anyway. Long story short, he's inconsolable. What excellent parents I have. FML
Today, I watched my best friend get married to the guy I have been in love with since the eighth grade. I was the maid of honor, and had to give a toast to the couple. FML
Today, as I’m single, I got permission to bring a friend as my plus-one to my sister's wedding. He’s religious so I thought of all people he’d be one to behave. Nope. He got plastered on champagne, slapped the brides ass as she was walking down the aisle with our dad, then started a fight. FML
Today, I found out that when my now ex-fiance said he “needs time to think about it” when he got cold feet at our wedding, he meant he needed time to screw his hot young coworker. FML
Today, despite checking, double-checking, and triple-checking before we sent them to every member of our friends and family, some who live in foreign countries, our wedding invitations somehow had not one, but two spelling mistakes. They misspelled my surname and the address of the church. FML
Today, I found out that my step-daughter, who is 29, still living at home, who I've completely supported since marrying her mother 16 years ago, wants her cousin to walk her down the aisle at her wedding two years from now and not me. FML
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