NSFW

Saucy surprise

By Liquor needed urgently - 22/04/2026 03:00 - The Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my daughter-in-law pegging my son, who was tied to the bed. You know, I try to be open-minded and figure they can do whatever between themselves, but maybe not in my spare room? FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 164

WTF dude?

By Bug5992 - 09/12/2012 22:46 - United States - Kent

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 948

You deserved it 10 333

By Anonymous - 04/09/2011 16:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 359

You deserved it 6 403

Giggley McGiggle

By not sexy! - 01/01/2023 12:00

Spicy

Today, my husband decided to surprise me with some "sexy" manscaping. When he took his clothes off, I immediately got drier than the Sahara desert. He was going for "porn star" but instead looked like a prepubescent kid, which immediately turned me off. He then got mad at me for “ruining the mood.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 442

Gooey mess

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 09:00 - Switzerland

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 93

Anticlimax

By Deidle-dee - 26/10/2010 16:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was OK, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 088

You deserved it 4 711

Classic manipulation

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband admitted he sometimes gets me ragingly jealous of other women on purpose because when I’m jealous I put in more effort in the bedroom and it’s easier to get me to do anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 495

Blended family indeed

By Anonymous - 30/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, due to my parents divorcing 30 years ago, marrying other people, and giving me a handful of half siblings, I found myself in the uniquely unpleasant situation of walking in on my sister having sex with my brother. (Stop panicking, they’re not blood related to each other, work it out!) FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 77

Gotcha

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 23:15 - United States - Angleton

Spicy

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 648

You deserved it 57 897

WTF, dude?

By NNTA - 26/12/2013 23:21 - Netherlands - Maastricht

Spicy

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 394

You deserved it 4 534

My eyes! My eyes!

By traumatized4life - 04/11/2010 19:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 853

You deserved it 2 914

Is this a joke to you?

By smiletellsall - 06/08/2009 23:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 437

You deserved it 3 143

Excited

By Juiced - 26/09/2012 18:46 - United States - Denver

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 583

You deserved it 3 397

Connection is all around me…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Two Rivers

Spicy

Today, after I made a connection with someone I used to know from school, I came to find out the whole time we were “solely seeing” each other, he was banging the bartender, and some fellow bar patrons at the same time as the bartender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 72

Stud

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 103

You deserved it 4 151

Conspiratorial under the sheets

By Anonymous - 29/11/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, I hooked up with a man for the first time since my divorce. The sex was mind-blowing. His pillow talk then began with something like, “A cabal of Hollywood celebrities and political insiders want to rape your children…” I’m so dry now, I think I hit menopause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 402

Mission accomplished

By Lovestupid - 03/11/2009 09:25 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 145

You deserved it 29 358

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 05/11/2023 21:00

Spicy

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 329

Anger management classes going well?

By Fuckrs - 15/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, not only did my deadbeat brother mooch off me for six months, wreck my car, and screw my wife, he just successfully sued me for the medical bills he incurred when I caught them and beat him within an inch of his life. Twelve fucking grand in debt. I should have just stabbed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 154

Nice guy

By LucklessNiceGuy - 05/12/2011 07:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 675

You deserved it 45 363

Noob

By facepalming all the way - 19/07/2015 06:02 - United States - Colorado Springs

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 795

You deserved it 2 361

Cool down

By Bruises - 18/05/2025 20:00 - United States - Edison

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend picked me up during sex and set me on his shoulders, with his face buried in my pussy. I loved it until he took a step and put my face right in the path of the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 127

Agony

By Ouch - 22/12/2021 22:59 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 235

You deserved it 220

What is wrong with you?

By Anonymous - 11/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband came to me with a proposition. He asked in all honesty if he could please have a one-time pass to have sex with someone else. He said that she’s a virgin and it’s always been his dream, and something every man deserves in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 126

I want more

By Anonymous - 26/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Fontana

Spicy

Today, I’m worried that swinging might've ruined my marriage. My wife and I both agreed and we very much enjoyed ourselves. The problem is that the other woman rode me like a high intensity thrill ride roller coaster compared to the same old merry go round that is my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 481

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Spicy

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 727

You deserved it 6 653

Send em

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, like millions of others before me, I decided to start a YouTube channel. I was thorough, bought all the camera gear, decided on my content, came up with a gimmick, the works. The very first comment I got on my very first video was a request for nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 158

Goo

By Anonymous - 23/07/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 136

Charmer

By anonymous - 19/09/2010 00:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 529

You deserved it 9 191

Teaching moment

By ohno - 10/03/2010 11:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 405

You deserved it 29 771

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The Top

Today, my daughter's school is furious because we were 3 hours late picking her up. My son, who was supposed to pick her up, apparently accidentally fell asleep after masturbating himself to exhaustion, which is why when we finally got home he was asleep with his pants down, porn still playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 657

You deserved it 295

Today, at my new job, my coworkers pranked me by moving around the things on my desk. I was horribly upset by it and reported them all to HR. Now no one will talk to me and I'm the office pariah within my first week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 762

Random

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 571

You deserved it 4 706

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 339

You deserved it 2 155

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 312

You deserved it 4 759

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 732

You deserved it 4 033

Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up, she would take me to get birth control. Wanting birth control, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I'm not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 739

You deserved it 28 912

Today, my mom said she ran into some old coworkers and they asked about me. She was surprised they remembered me, as we only met once. The reason they remembered me is because I fell down the stairs at their house when I was 11. That was 15 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 561

You deserved it 274